Igshaan Adams is a contemporary South African 'thread' or weaving artist . They create instillation's and sculptures that are beautiful and meaningful.
Thread was one the growing mediums of art in 2024. As we move towards a more machine learning future and whatever that looks like and feels like, the very essence of what makes us human is pushing back.
Igshaan's work is often ordered and easy to engage with but sometimes it reflects the whirlwind and storm of our past and of our present.
His work is quietly beautiful and I find myself sitting in front of it in meditation. The beads and threads carrying the eye through and under.
Igshaan's whirlwind wire works reflect something of the process of thinking and rethinking.
They bring a strange peace as if to say, "it is ok"
The process of unlearning and sitting in the discomfort of that space is painful and unsettling.
Relearning and re ordering of old habits and ways of thinking takes time. This is especially true when thinking again about theology when the foundations of this old theology have been engrained, intentionally.
It has been lonely too. There is loss. There is a lot to loose when walking away from a community and especially a way of thinking about God and the world. Partly because , one of the key tenants of this theology is one needs to opt in, fit in, be in or you are out. Literally. OUT. What one perceived as friendships and relationships were really something else. An illusion. A mist. If you are reading this and thinking, "that can not be, surely there is more to this story?" My friend, I can share countless stories of this exact same working out of faith communities. This very weekend friends told us of their church getting hold of them after they had not been to church for 4 years. Wow!
I digress.
The truth is, there are obviously aspects of being in this church space that we miss. I miss those very special people who we sat near each week and had some arbitrary chat about football of something. When a church communities way of being is framed around one aspect of theological importance, which is God's word, the Bible, and when the way or framing the bible ( theology) is being unpicked and unpacked, then this is the very part I do not miss. The faith community we were from arrogantly thought of itself as " handling God's word well" or the subtext was being the very best at understanding and delivering Gods word. So it is strange to not miss the 'teaching'. But I do not.
The journey of unpacking has been lonely at times. Partly because God graciously allows each of us to journey in different ways to refind God. Nearly all of the people I love dearly have, in some or other form, journeyed along these tracks , in one or another form. And so we continue to meet and talk and think and read. What a joy. I have a very dear friend who is studying theology in quite a different context and boy do we chew the fat. Another dear friend and I wrestle and laugh and are angry together over some of the oppressive things we believed and tried to live out, though painful and damaging. For theology does not simply remain in active. It works itself out in peoples lives and is either life giving or deeply harmful. Working through the damage and harm is and continues to be the most difficult thing for me personally. Layers upon layer. My dear sweet friends, I love you each one as you have walked and continue to walk in love and honesty with me. I am also grateful for those few friends from my old faith space, who continue in there and have not written us off as " lost" or no longer christian.
I have also met new people with fresh ideas and deep faith in Jesus. These dear ones have challenged so much of my thinking and fed so much more too. And then there are those who have written books and are active online who help those of us who are relearning to feel and know we are NOT alone. The struggles are not the same but are often similar. The sadness at years seemingly ' wasted' and the losses we have had to face as well as the fraught shame with which we view some of the old ideas we though were truth.
And it is ok.
It is ok to look at the bible with fresh eyes and see those things we have not seen before.
It is ok to unlearn and rethink and to renavigate. It is all ok.
A dear friend and the another reminded me that is is good to grow and change. And it is indeed.
More and more I get to spend time with older people. Honestly, I am not really an old person , person but I am learning to be .
My adult art class includes three delightful women in their 70's. What amazing people who share their stories and present struggles openly. We have wept together and are learning some new art theories, together. We talk and laugh. One of the things I so admire about these women, is their ability and desire to learn.
Much like many artists I admire , including the amazing Georgia O Keeffe, who continued to paint into her very old age and when her eye sight grew dim, she took up pottery.
Mindset and helping the every increasing aging body to stay " well oiled" is part of the story of growing old. What I want to commit to myself is to keep on listening, reading, learning and unlearning and learning again.
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