Part 12- The Story of my Life

What follows in these tales from My life is a story I need to write. [[A story of life and drama that I long to write down. Not only for myself, but also as a reminder of things gone by. It is a story of forming and shaping and intrigue . But primarily it is a story about hope. If you choose to tread these pages with me, do so with reverence and kindness because one does not write these things lightly. If you are one who has the need to flirt a little with being nosy then perhaps you should pass by this story. For it is true and full. It needs not your judgment nor your advice. But if you want to read on, then read it as a novel should be read. For it is but just one story among many.

 

The Two will become one Flesh Indeed

Being married to Dougie started off as one big adventure and it has remained that way ever since. I am not that comfortable with adventures and so Doug has afforded me an opportunity to step out of my comfort zone into another area struggle – trust. 

The very first year of our married life together , we enjoyed in Johannesburg. It was a good first year. Doug's farther was born in Manchester in the UK and so that afforded him the privilege of having a British Passport. So one year into the marriage adventure, we left the country and city of our birth and heritage and flew to London. The first part of the adventure full on track. We lived in Brittan for 5 and a half years. Doug worked as a computer programmer and I attempeted to teach :) . We lived in ceveral places but finally came to rest in Bromley Kent. Our son James was born in Farnborogh Hospital in 2000. Becomming parents was to be part 2 of the magnifacent adventure.

Doug and I were very blessed in that he urned a good salary and so we were able to save a great deal. With this money we back packed around South America starting in Lima, Peru on through Bolivia, Chile, Argentine and finally Brazil. This was a life changing and enriching experience for us both. It was on this trip that I fell pregnant with James. 

An interesting beginning to an interesting part of life. :)

*

My very difficult and painful childhood had left me totally devoid of an ability to trust another person. My mariage to Doug is indeed the very place I needed  to learn to entrust myself to another.. Much of my relathionship with Doug has  been very much like a dance. A very special and unique Tango, with God  as the writer of the music and the guider of the steps. 

The adventure is into its 17^th year now and still we dance on. God has given me a very good man with whom to share the time on earth. He has blessed us with 4 great sons. The eldest is 12 and the youngest 6. Jesus is continuing his work as grand master artist as he uses our lives as his lump of clay with all its imperfections and brokenness. My difficult and broken childhood has left me with wounds and specific struggles. I am learning to trust others; learning to trust my God given husband and learning to trust our great and mighty God. As we walk along the journey called life, he is there, invisible but a real help in times of plenty and in times of need. 

We returned to South Africa, Cape Town towards the end of 2001. I was pregnant with another son, Thomas. He was born on December 1st 2001.  I have written something of the walk with have with having a special needs child. Thomas is on the ADHD spectrum and this has bright a different richness to our lives. I have also written on this blog about my husband and his discovery of being ADHD. We are not surprised nor ashamed. We stand ontop of the box that could so easily box  and we fight to give this special boy his wings so that he can fly. Knowing his strengths and weaknesses is indeed a help as we seek to parent him for God's glory.  And it is so with all our children. And so we began another part in the puzzle of our married life. That which afforded us the opportunity to love and care for 4 livley, smelly , busy , dirty , crazy and yet kind and loving, caring and fun boys.

 We have settled in Bergvliet Cape Town. Our boys attend a local, community school. Doug continues to brigthen my life with adventure that fits with his role as husband and father. God continues to chistle away at my character and soul. I continue to stand in his grace of forgiveness. 

In all honesty my marriage is nothing like I longed for. My dream was all full of false promises and fake, unrealisc hope.  Being a mom is nothing that I thought it would be either. Here and now is reality and I am in no doubt that my feet are firmly planted in the real world of life. My eyes are wide open and there is no naive hope.  There have been some very real times of trial as well as these great things. Life is like that is it not? 

But I have a real and lasting hope given me as a precious gift from an equally real and living, kind King. His name is Jesus. He knows me inside and out and nothing I can do, say, be or make comes even a little close to that which I have from being known and loved by this King.No matter what the future holds for all of us , I know God is with us and at work.

This blog shares something of our lives as we seek to live lives that bring glory to him.

We are blessed indeed.

Part 11 - The Story of my Life

 What follows in these tales from My life is a story I need to write. [[A story of life and drama that I long to write down. Not only for myself, but also as a reminder of things gone by. It is a story of forming and shaping and intrigue . But primarily it is a story about hope. If you choose to tread these pages with me, do so with reverence and kindness because one does not write these things lightly. If you are one who has the need to flirt a little with being nosy then perhaps you should pass by this story. For it is true and full. It needs not your judgment nor your advice. But if you want to read on, then read it as a novel should be read. For it is but just one story among many.

 

Lets Celebrate

We were married on the 1^st April 1995. I was 25 years old. Doug was 27. It was a gloriously warm day. The place of our marriage ceremony and wedding celebration was Helderefontein in Johannesburg. A beautiful, highveld country conference centre.

My friend Kate did my hair and Jacqui my make- up. I am not a make-up sort of gal but on this occasion I took the plunge. Kate has 4 sisters and her second eldest , Clare, had worked very hard to make my dress. It was off white in colour and made of crushed silk. I thought it really pretty. It was comfortable to wear.  I had a Spanish style vale with ornate paisley patterns on it.  I was very happy indeed. Most of our family and good friends were there and we danced into the evening. We honeymooned in the mountains of the Drankensburg. It was my first visit to those breath taking valleys and mighty peaks. We found a small church that Sunday, all hidden away in a crevice of a valley. I can not recall who talked or what the church was called but I remember the man spoke about the St James Church attack and how God had added to the church of Jesus through that one terrible occurrence.

Little did we both know but God was to bring us to that very church, St James, some 7 years latter, it was to become our spiritual haven.

Part 10- The Story of my life

ollows in these tales from My life is a story I need to write. [[A story of life and drama that I long to write down. Not only for myself, but also as a reminder of things gone by. It is a story of forming and shaping and intrigue . But primarily it is a story about hope. If you choose to tread these pages with me, do so with reverence and kindness because one does not write these things lightly. If you are one who has the need to flirt a little with being nosy then perhaps you should pass by this story. For it is true and full. It needs not your judgment nor your advice. But if you want to read on, then read it as a novel should be read. For it is but just one story among many.

 

Another baby that healed

My father had remarried. We were not invited. That was ok because the rift between us was pretty big. He had married a woman only 10 years older than me and someone he had been having an affair with. She was to become a very dear friend to me in the years ahead. But at this point in time I could never have imagined anything but brokenness between us.  My dad phoned to say that a baby girl had been born. I wept and wept. I was my daddy’s baby girl and now there was another.

“My baby sister is in that hospital,” I mentioned, casually to Doug as we drove past. “Lets go in and see her.” He encouraged.

And so it was that we walked into the maternity ward and shocked the socks of  L so that I could meet my new baby sister. She was so tiny. I could just look at her through the glass. It was to be the very beginning of a good and growing relationships on many fronts.  With forgiveness as my new companion and God setting the course I stepped into a land that I know I could never, ever have stepped alone. With the arm of Doug to lean on and his shoulder to cry into we began what is today 3 of the most precious relationships in my life.  I have two sisters. Cole and Samantha and I have a wonderful friend in My dad's wife.

God is good and kind and out of death comes life.

part 9 - The Story of my life

What follows in these tales from My life is a story I need to write. [[A story of life and drama that I long to write down. Not only for myself, but also as a reminder of things gone by. It is a story of forming and shaping and intrigue . But primarily it is a story about hope. If you choose to tread these pages with me, do so with reverence and kindness because one does not write these things lightly. If you are one who has the need to flirt a little with being nosy then perhaps you should pass by this story. For it is true and full. It needs not your judgment nor your advice. But if you want to read on, then read it as a novel should be read. For it is but just one story among many.

The Pull and The Call

Doug and I moved into our first home in Melville. Melville is a trendy little part of Johannesburg. We lived in a semi-detached house with a small garden and two bedrooms. It had all the old characteristics of an old Victorian house. It was great. We could walk to one of the best restaurants in Joburg, at that time. It was called Sams and served grand and funky food.

Our life in Melville was fairly uncomplicated. Doug was working at Magus as a computer programmer and I was teaching in Down Town Joburg. We were both trying to study through UNISA. Life was fun. We met with old and new friends. Went dancing and drinking. Smoked the odd Joint on the odd occasion. Doug was still pretty heavily involved with the ANC. Those early days when the Nationalist government was in discussion with the newly liberated ANC were tense and dangerous. One Sunday we heard the news of a college of Doug’s, Susan, who had been killed by one of the many bombs. The glass from her car window cut her jugular and she bled to death in no time. We sat stunned and silent. Her funeral was a huge affair. Her Catholic, Irish roots set the theme in the church with the open coffin and the ANC set the politic theme. Hamba Kahle Susan.

That was the first time I saw a dead body of someone I had known. I could see that it was in deed just a body. Susan was not there.

Doug spent many Sundays in long drawn out ANC sub-region meetings. He met some interesting intellectuals back then. It was exciting to see the future of our new democracy to be in its seedling stage.

Around this time I began to here the call of someone other than Doug and politics. In fact, his voice had been whispering and calling me for a while but it was here, in the home and at this time that his voice became very clear.

I had met many true christens throughout my life.  People who trusted and believed in Jesus and what he did for them on the cross.  

While studying I was in the class of a teacher who was a Christian. Her husband and her were Monocycles for Jesus. I had no clue what this was nor did I. I was a firm believer in myself and my ability to figure life out. Sure I meditated and read some new age stuff but hey, who is better to trust than yourself.

My best friend at school was a lovely girl called Kate. Her mother was a Christian and she had given me a little booklet that explained the gospel and helped the reader into a living relationship with Jesus. I had kept this little book safely with me through all these years.

Then there was the handsome preacher who everyone loved. Some friends invited me on a long, overnight hike with them and Mark. I thought I was in seventh heaven. Mark was a preacher. I get to ask him all those questions one gets to ask a preacher on a hike. Late that night, when the stars where up, He said, “Caren, if you want to know if God is real. Just ask him to show himself to you.”

And so that is what I did. It seemed like the only reasonable thing to do. I asked the God of the Universe to show himself to little old, arrogant, selfish a and demanding…me.

And he did.

From that time on , where ever I went, I met many, many Christians who told me the same true story. At College there were many times that I would choose to listen to some visiting Christian band or watch some dvd on offer. I was a reluctant convert and yet God did not give up. Like an invisible hand on a tug of war rope, he pulled and pulled. Gently I began to creep until I would listen at least.  One night outside some dive in Melville while on our way to play pool, Doug told me how to become a Christian. He of course was had flirted with Christianity in his youth. Little did he know that God was calling him back to him?

That very next day, while driving to work, I had a very real and honest chat with God. I asked him to forgive me and help me to trust him.  I was totally un-churched. I had seldom been to a real church or heard a real sermon. God called me and saved me on that day.

Doug and I were not married. We were still living together in Melville and I had just given my life to Jesus.

Like a heavy weight God placed this in my mind and heart. Suddenly, out of nowhere I really knew I needed to find a church. I had no clue what this meant or actually what had happened to me at all. But a church was what I thought I needed now.

And so, Doug took me, first we began with his old Charismatic church. Next we tried a large Baptist church in Rosebank and for a time this is where we found a home amongst God’s people.

I began a course about discovering what being a Christian really was. It was one of the best times of my life. The Bible became real and alive to me. For the first time ever I could understand and enjoy this very word of God. And so my journey as a believer in Jesus began. It was a very special time for me. Everything was new and different. Everything seemed good. People were kind. I was baptized in full body immersion one evening. My mother was there. I remember that she cried.

April fools are not fools at all.

Doug and I have been married for 16 years . I am so grateful for all the good time we have shared. God has been very good to us!

One of the things Doug loves to do is read the newspaper. This is a photo of my brother Alan and Doug.

This photo was taken at Lynette's 50 party in JHB.

This photo was taken at a friends 40 a few weekends ago. A hot day at Fairveiw Estate and a good breakfast. Fun with friends.

This is a family affair.

This is one taken at Samuel's 7th party a few weeks ago. Some of the highlights of the last 16 years. 1. Living in Melville in an old, character filled home. Our first home together and I loved that spot. 2. Doug's first fish room at the bottom of that garden 3.Reading in bed together until late into the morning 4.Rosebank Union Church 5.Working full time as a teacher in Down Town JHB 6. Doug working at Magus 7.Our citi Golfs 8.Dinners with friends in Melville 9. Listening to live music 10.moving to London 11.Living and working in Oxford 12. Living and working in London 13.Backpacking around South America 14.Having very few possessions on that trip 15.adventure 16. Christ Church Bromley 17. new friends in the UK - Just lovley 18. Having our first little boy - James 20.joy joy joy - sleepless nights and tired 21.Doug working in the City 22. Pregnant with Thomas 23.Coming home 24. Living in Sea Point 25. Moving to Kennelworth 26. St James Church 27. Meeting old friends 28. meeting in the park with little children 29. coffee morning 30 new friends 31 Doug working from home 32 Thomas is born - lovely 33. buying our home 34. samuel comes along 35. constantiaberg preschool 36. sweet valley primary - the journey begins 37. Jethro is born 38.Doug moves to work away from home 39.life begins again - adventure 40. sewing ; wriggle and rhyme ; fish ; dogs and more pets; friends and lots more These are the fun times in list form. Many have been left off. Of course life is not just good times but sad and bad times too. But we serve a mighty God who is at work in our lives and in our marriage and so we look back and say Thank You Father for your kindness and love towards us. Thank you for our marriage and the work you have done.

For Doug You are more than a husband to me. You are my best friend I am so blessed to be married to you Through the fun times and through the storms through the laughter and through the tears you are...... my Dougie Your willingness to be found in God and him in you is a beautiful thing ; a dependable quality. May Our Great and Mighty Lord continue the work he has begun in us .... Happy Anniversary.