on being ..Authentic and Real

Last night I had the extraordinary and rare opportunity to share my life story with a small group of women. 3 to be exact. 

We all have a story to tell. The story is our story to tell. it is real and living in the memory of our lives. It lives on through our daily experience as we journey on to the end. 

My story, which I have shared on my blog, is complicated and full. Full of all sorts of things that any good story would have to offer. It is not dull to listen to and it is frightening to contemplate. 

It is at its heart, the story of God redeeming his daughter and of his precious and perfect kind work in her life.

And so I shared!!

This morning I woke up and thought out loud.... Heck what have I done?

I had shared with three relative strangers, my hectic life story and now what. I felt as if I in that deeply uncomfortable  place called vulnerability. 

I still feel like that. 

It is far safer to be fake !

Or is it?

I think it is where people prefer to live. Life is great and all is well is far easier to cope with than anything real and authentic. 

And so today I wrestle with these feelings. I pray in all this that Jesus walked off my life story into the lives of two really special women and that they saw him and not me and all my broken , messy past.

Jesus is my redeemer and saviour and for that I am eternally grateful. 

The what if of a life without him is to horrendous to contemplate,

Jesus works with us and in us when we are real with him . My prayer for myself is that my past with count in the present and that as HE makes something good out of the broken, he proves himself real and authentic. 

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Cape Town shares Leonardo da Vinci

Today we visited the da Vinci exhibition at the Cape Town Waterfront. I had been looking forward to it all week and felt like a child in a sweet shop. It was everything I had hoped for and more. Well set out with lots of space to read each exhibit. The information was clear and really interesting but that is not difficult with an exhibition of this nature. Leonardo da Vinci was an extraordinary man with an exceptional brain. His inventions and designs showed his engineering brain and his delight in solving problems. it is a beautiful exhibition and you will learn a great deal from visiting it.

We went as a family and hired an audio explanation. The little ones loved listening to this. If you are still wanting to visit it, it closes next weekend - Feb the 9th. it is well worth the visit.

Enjoy!!

The joy and the loss

This year our first born son began his high school life. it has been a great time of brand new experiences for us all but especially for him. His school is one of the best schools in South Africa, of which there are many and we feel the privilege deeply and profoundly. His has so many good and fun learning experiences ahead of him and indeed they have already begun.

Week one held within it, the music camp which was truly a special experience. We the parents enjoyed the fruit of their labour on the Sunday, as they 3 bands performed for us.

James , has been really settling in well and this particular school really has been a gentle and sure transition so far.

People keep asking me how it is going and I can honestly say that it is going very, very well. But, the truth for ME, as a mother is that high school has held within its bosom , so to speak, the reality of the next step towards adulthood for our son. I guess, because he is the first, I feel it more profoundly. The what of my feeling is quite frankly, loss. I am grieving in a way, the loss of the time that primary school affords one with a child, He leaves very early for sport and the like and is often home after 5. High school is awake long past sun down and so we press on , into the night.

This is all normal and good but for me feels happy / sad. I miss him. I miss seeing him at school when I fetch the little ones. I miss his casual hi. I miss knowing he is there. I am left thinking and determined to enjoy the time left at primary school with the other boys. It is special and fleeting. All good but still difficult.

So while I rejoice and am so thrilled to share this teenagers walk, I am mindful of the release that is required for a healthy journey for us both.:)

A right of passage - for us

 Yesterday , we spent some time together, with good friends and their children. We spent this time doing something a little wacky.

 We joined to share time with a group of young people who are about to enter high school for the first time. They all dressed in their brand new, shiny uniforms. They looked so smart. These young people are all going to separate schools all over the Cape Peninsula. What brought us together?

We were drawn together to share this time of fun and friendship and to gather , as mom's before the Lord Jesus, and ask him for his blessing and care for these children.

 It was a beautiful, busy and fun afternoon but mainly it was an afternoon of blessing:)

in all things.....

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December has come and nearly gone. As we say goodbye to another year, the year 2013 and we welcome in the new year , I am mindful of the pain, sadness,grief and loss that surrounds us. it is a very strange thing, but the ending of a year seems to bring with it tragedy and loss. There are so many whom we know personally who have lost loved ones during this time. All are Christians. All love Jesus and are loved by him. 

For all of them , their strong faith in Jesus is the very real strength they have to face their trial and pain. 

To those on the outside it might seem as if God has abandoned his people. Where is he in the mess of life. When a dearly loved one dies- where is God?

When a tumour is diagnosed- where is God?

When the unthinkable happens - where is God?

When we face those things in life that tear us apart and rip our lives to shreds - Where is God?

When those who should love and support us let us down so desperately-where, oh where is God?

The truth is that God is not shy of getting his hands dirty. He is at work in the very pain and heartache of real peoples , real lives.  he holds them, strengthens them, loves them and guides them. He provides and his grace is like a river flowing from heaven into the lives of those who trust him. Does this mean that pain and suffering just go away. Not at all. It means that Jesus makes sense of all this pain and suffering, I have 3 dear friends who have enormous trials that they are facing right now. Each of them testifies to Gods love and goodness, his grace and providence. They shine out his love and hope and are an enormous encouragement for those who walk beside them - despite their deep pain and real struggles and despite the forever loss one carries in these kinds of situations.

Romans 8:28 is one of my favourite reminders. God is at work in all things - the good and the awful things. He is at work in all our situations . He is at work for our good according to his purpose, 

So, I pray this prayer for these friends and many others who are battered by life.... 

Keep trusting Jesus.

My comment and reflections - The Passing of a giant - Mandela

 Mandela is gone. He has left this world to pass on to another. He has left behind his very clear and thoughtful footprint on South Africa, Africa and indeed the world.  He lived life conscious and with purpose. He was not perfect for he was just a man but he accomplished much for many. A life lived in service of his ideals and therefore in service of a nation.  

He has left a hole in the hearts of many.

As a nation we said our goodbyes and farewells. We had countless opportunities to grieve and share in a varieties of ways. People chose what they could and waited suited them. For us, as a family we chose to watch the memorial on TV and to lay some flowers at The Cape Town City Hall. Both of these were a moment for me personally to reflect back on the country we were.

 The radio has always been my friend and I have listened to many, many discussions and debates ; first hand accounts and stories from friends, comrades and family and from fellow South Africans, pilgrims through this land- South Africa. This is my country. it is a country that I love with deep passion despite the pain of the past and the tragedy of those days that have scared us all as South Africans. Apartheid broke, divided, ripped at peoples lives ; it ruled and governed our lives and has left its own footprint on the lives of those who grew up under it and who lived with it. We are a broken  nation and in need of collective therapy. This idea is not one narrowly held just for us. many countries around the world need collective therapy to heal the pain of the past.

 In one way, I feel that talk radio is part of that therapy. People have the opportunity to say what needs to be said. The passing of Madiba is another such opportunity. We as a nation, publicly get to share our guilt, pain, sorrow  and our own experiences of the 1970's ; 1980's and up to the present.

 In the context of us all having a say about what we think - which is a freedom I choose to uphold - freedom of speech. I choose to share a sadness I have observed especially on social media. While there are things about our current president that I do not agree with or even like. He , in my opinion is not doing the servant leader work of a person given his position and in fact encouraged to by the example of Madiba. However, I felt that 'booing' him at the memorial service was out of line:)

 Similarly, the rude and disrespectful comments  people have shared on social media around him as a person and indeed the memorial prompted me to write this post. The memorial service was long and there were many speeches. It was not exceptional nor was it spectacular. But, to be honest, I did not expect it to be. As I reflect on the day, I think it was very much in line with the funerals and meetings of the ANC days gone by. Doug was involved in his 20,s with the forming of an ANC branch and was on the JHB sub-region. We experienced a great deal ANC meetings and discussions. The funeral was no surprise, in fact I enjoyed listening the the speeches and seeing those who had arrived from other countries.

 I enjoyed seeing who was invited to speak and I loved hearing the old freedom songs once again. The crown had a ball.

Finally I write about Madiba lying in state and The Union Buildings. I was deeply moved by the snaking ques of people who travelled from great distances away to come and bid farewell. It was right and fitting. I want to salute our government and the local governments who have created space for we the people of South Africa to mourn and share in Madiba's passing. It has been cathartic, reflective and opportunities for teaching the next generation about the past. Nelson Mandela was a giant. He has touched us. May we continue to strive towards thoughtful unity and real peace as we live in the beautiful land. South Africa. Hamba Kahle Madiab.

Madiba

This week has been one of the saddest weeks for us as a country.

It is and will be a week we all remember. 

For, who can forget the very place we were when we heard the news.

We have come, at last, to that place.

 The place we all anticipated and thought about. 

 The death of Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela. Madiba. 

Tata.

The passing away of Madiba was no surprise but like every death it, was a shock. 

I was on my way to school to collect reports. it was very early. I turned on the radio and wham!!

There it was. 

The sad and real news

Madiba was dead.

 Over these passed few days I have been listening to the radio and all the many different angles that each programme has taken. It has been cathartic and good to reflect back. I am reminded again from where we have come as a nation. Those dark and painful, evil days where Apartheid ruled. The many, many who have spoken of those days have somehow transported us back to those days.   I think it is good to go back there and reflect. To think about what we were and what we are becoming 

To think about how far we have come and how much we have accomplished.

Of course Madiba was not the only 'hero' of the time. There were many other strong men and women who stood shoulder to shoulder with him. They shared life together. They planned and executed their plans -together. But somehow , Madiba, emerged as the man who could and would encompass all of our hopes and dreams as one , united nation. 

The rainbow nation as we were called in the 1990's.

I like that. It has a good and whole feel to it. 

Those who have spoken about the man. Nelson Mandela, have all shared something of his wonderful character. His humility, his sense of humor, his  kindness and of course his offer of forgiveness towards those who worked for his end and his ill. I agree with one commentator who suggested that he did not really set SA free but rather showed us what we could be , so that we set ourselves free. That sounds pretty much like the Madiba we all knew and loved. The man who never claimed any glory for himself. A man who chose to step down as president  after his first term in office. He was an example of a life well lived.

I know he was not perfect. He was just a man after all. 

There is however something about the way he approached life that is compelling.  He lived his life true to his conscience and convictions and that is something rare and special.

Not only did he do that but he touched other peoples lives in a unique and wonderful way. Even those who did not agree with his politics, were transformed by a meeting with him.

He was a tall man.

I remember 'bumping' into him one night shortly after his release. He was calmly walking through a local JHB shopping center.  We just could not believe out=r eyes. We greeted him and moved on. I remember thinking how tall  he was and how kind his eyes were. 

 I have been pondering what to do to mark this time. We have had some great conversations with our boys about times gone past. It is so very difficult for them to truly understand who he is and what he helped us become.  But I think we can try and help them to see just a glimmer.

So this blog post is a small little tribute to a tiny aspect of his life. I have written about him before and my life and reflections as a young South African growing up in the 1970 and 1980's.

There are many books assailable about Nelson Mandela but one of the best is his Long Walk to Freedom. We have many different copies of it in our home including the abridged version which I recommend for children who are good readers.

Today we say farewell as a country with a memorial service. over 100 heads of states have landed on African soil to bid their farewells.  We share a great man with the world. 

On Saturday the ANC say goodbye to their leader and friend, their comrade. I would love to be present and experience that moment. Singing with his fellow comrades - Hamba Kahle!

Then, he has his family funeral full of all the traditions that adorn his family and culture. He will be laid to rest in Qunu, the very place that brought him forth. From humble beginnings he returns to those very same humble beginnings.

So, along side many fellow South Africans we will be doing some of the things planned for us as a country. We will say our goodbye s too. We are going to share the morning and memorial with a good friend and fellow South African - another who feels very deeply or the issues in our land. 

 And yet... my heart feels so heavy and sad for the loss of this great man. I pray that we will be re-encouraged to unite and work together for our nation. I pray that as we reflect, tomorrow and into the years ahead, the legacy that he leaves behind will live on though the generations who follow.

Thank you Lord Jesus for giving South Africa such a man as this. May his legacy live on in us.May you raise up many others like him who can serve and lead with integrity.

 Farrell 

 Hamba Kahle Tata -- a real servant leader.

 These are some of the artworks we completed in the July Holidays. So very timely!!