This year that was !

 Nothing in all of creation will ever separate us from Gods love. Romans 8:28

About 2 years ago, Doug made some of these wooden trees for me. We gave some as gifts to people and kept one for ourselves. It lives at the front door. Each year I repaint it and change the wording written on it. I always paint a declaration; a truth from Gods word. It stands at the front door for everyone to read as they enter our home. We sure do have many who enter. May these words be a blessing and a thought provoking truth for those who come past. May God grow this truth and may it bear fruit.

As I painted the wooden tree, I prayed and thought; and thought and prayed. I had been looking through some photographs from about 2 years ago. Some dear sweet chubby cheeked photographs of the boys and friends from that time. I am always amazed at the memories photographs bring with them. Deep and perhaps forgotten things that happened. They represent a time in ones life and transport one back there in a flash. 

I was reminded of good teachers and fun times from the relaxed days at preschool and how far each son has travelled though the years with James having just completed his first year at high school and Jethro going to grade 3. 

I thought of the love regained and the good found and Gods real, rich grace toward us as a family.

 I thanked him!

I thought of the old relationships , perhaps a little stale and strained and how God has applied his healing and refreshed and answered prayers.

I mourned for those losses we experience in life and cried out to him for broken people who are unable to love well and are uncaring or unkind because of it.

And so I reflected on the love and the loss from the year gone by and once again rejoiced that God is at work and his purposes are being perfected in all things and all situations.

This was a painting prayer time that then extended ....

Painting and I are good, familiar friends. And so, I began to spot some other old friends that needed a face lift of sorts. This old stone statue for example:)

I love this old ugly thing because it is a symbol of family. It is a symbol for our family. That precious circle God grows as we love and learn together through all the good times and the bad times.

We have one another.

I have had to learn this for our family because I never had that in my childhood. it is a precious reality for us as a family of 6 and God has sewn it together and held it there. 

And so I painted and prayed - thank you Lord for the work you have done in my and in this marriage and so for our children!!

Big stuff and our very, very BIG and wonderful God.

This little flower was a gift from a new friend. I met her while running Wriggle and Rhyme years back and we have remained friends. It was a good reminder of the new things God brings into our lives. People especially but also new experiences.

This year High School was new for us all. We walked this journey with James leading it ( because he had to do it),and it has been good and a blessing in many ways.

Teenage stuff has all been new too. the most exciting of all has been to watch as God takes him on his own personal fledgling journey. He is off to Crossword Camp on Monday for the week , on his own with no good guy friend with him. He is good at doing things on his own and we are trusting and praying that James will meet with Jesus this week and that he will for ever be assured of the truth of HIM.

Lastly, I painted this strange stick friend again. About 2 years ago I made this weird stick creation and it has been our garden friend ever since. It was looking a bit sad and faded and so I granted it a face lift and .......

Lastly, I have put this fun and funny photo in as a reminder that this year was full of laughter. When you have a teenager or two there is always a lot of fun and laughter in the middle of all the other stuff and it was a good reminder of how much and how deep we laughed. It was good!!

Thank you Lord for a good year of fun and laughter. Thank you for being real and faithful to us as a family and for all our answered prayers. Thank you for carrying us in the good and sad times we had. You are faithful and your love endures forever.

Thank you for Jesus!!

Thank you for this great family and for each and every dear person who you brought into our lives this year. May we be to them all you have purposed us to be.

Opperation Christmas Box

 Operation Christmas Box 2014. A highlight of the year. Hard work and fun are had by all. A big thank you!!!

For 12 years now I have been involved in our Church Operation Christmas Box. It is a great privilege and a whole lot of fun and blessing. This year has been no different!!

Our church family are asked to contribute a box of blessing for a child. We share these boxes with our church family in Khayelitscha and Strand.  The sloppes of the sand dunes are built cheek to cheek with shacks of different sizes and variety. The common bond is poverty and struggle. It is these communities inot which we send these boxes. Small, very insignificant but a little bit of love. 

The pastoral staff at these churches invite the children and parents to a Christmas party. The love of Jesus is shared in this practical way.

Thank you to ALL who put these lovley boxes together!!

This year we invited the grade 6 children to come and be a  part of our little project. The children who joined us were enthusiastic and hard working. Their moms were even more:) Thank you ALL very, very much. I know that tonight we are weary.

We collect about 320 boxes in total this year and we are thrilled to have completed the whole sorting of them all in one go.

Father, bless the work of these hands and bless the children who receive a box. Please send your word into each little life and grow your seed into a flourishing tree. Oh Lord have mercy on our poor and broken communities. Thank you for your work in these parts and we pray that each child who receives one of our little boxes of love, will be loved indeed.

Writitng tests?

http://schools.nyc.gov/NR/rdonlyres/C73A0EB5-E461-4EDE-BC63-0A9EEC51A944/54729/Writing_on_Test3.jpg

People like to moan. They seem to enjoy a good grumble. 

Sometimes , of course having an issue with something is legitimate.

This week I have heard my fair share of grumbling.

Even from people whose children are not in this schooling system. Yikes!

It is  exam time after all.

I guess grumbling is part of the exam thing!

People experience exams as negative and stressful because they can be. It is a time of focused or lack there of- concentration on school work.

Our children attend a school where children write exams from grade 4 onwards. The exams are based on the work done during the term and for Maths, English and Afrikaans, the work covered over the year.

While writing tests or exams can be full on, I choose to see them in a different light.

I tutor children and so totally understand the struggles children have and the anxiety parents have when children struggle to concentrate ; focus; remember what they have learnt ; put it all together. 

Here are some positive reasons to write tests and exams.

* information is consolidated 

* studying skills are practiced and refined as the child matures

* children practice different types of questions ( gone are the old regurgitation only kind of questions) children have to think and apply the work

* parents get involved in the learning process ( positively - this can be successful. I have seen parents really help struggling children)

* it is ONE of the ways to assess children

* children who struggle in class assessments , sometimes thrive in test times

* the child can take ownership of his or her learning - understanding where he stands in relation to his peers. I think this is one of the healthiest parts of school. All boasting and thinking my child is the best is shown in a realistic light amongst peers

* if you are in the schooling system, your grade 6 results count for high school- these are important

* practicing writing exams provides opportunities for learning the How To of writing.

* children really step up to the plate and manage an enormous amount of work - a job well done- so the I can gets built. Even in children who struggle

* a good school will support children who struggle with a scribe, reader, extra time etc.

* a good school has good exam preperation for all children

Of course these tests do not assess the whole child. They are not supposed to. The schooling system in SA provides many other opportunities to learn . 

Assessments are throughout the year and children are involved in all sorts of projects, orals, etc.

One of the reasons I think we, the adults  tend to be so negative about exams is we have bought into this idea that children should have no discomfort. More than that, life should be smooth and happy for them. I think this idea is stripping our children and ill equipping them for real life. Exam pressure and writing is a small way for children to experience real pressure .

Having said that I think we, the adults, play an EXCEPTIONALLY huge role in managing the pressure and the stress. Of course their is stress but if children are prepared and ready, then their is not much reason to be hugely stressed.

I had an interesting conversation with a darling girl . I asked her how her tests were. She said to me... "Aunty Caren you make exams seem so normal calling them tests."

Aaaah- bingo. I realised in that small moment that I, the adult, have an enormous role to play in "test" week. My positive / negative attitude is experienced as such by my children.

My peace rule in our household this test time. :)

Our 2nd Birthday celebration with a difference.

       

Yesterday we celebrated Thomas Adam Falconer's 13 blessing. He is not yet 13 but with the busyness of this time of year we thought we would get going a little early. We began this tradition for our family with James when he turned 13. That was a meaningful experience for us all.

Yesterday afternoon, we gathered to thank God for Thomas . The families who came are all people who love Thomas deeply and who have had a profound impact on his life. These are our friends, his friends. Some have known Thomas all his life and are our dearly loved friends and  Thomas' God parents. 

Thomas is a really unique young man. He is indeed a gracious and marvelous creation and we love him more than words can possibly express here. We are grateful to God for his for ALL he is and we rejoice in the work of Gods spirit at work in and through him.

 The ideas, love, thoughts, blessings extended towards and over Thomas' life, were examples of his unique and creative person that God has specifically and purposefully made.

With God there are no mistakes.

I am not going to write here about our Thomas but rather about the real and tangible wonder being part of a community of Jesus Christ is for us all.

As we gathered , adults and children alike , drew near to listen. And while a lot of what the adults shared was ' adult speak' for the younger ones, there was in this moment a profound feeling ; experience of God. He who calls us by name and he who gathers us together . We all just sat and soaked up the words of blessing, kindness, godly wisdom, advice, pointers and prayers for Thomas life. 

Profound and unique are the words of God and profound is his work in our lives.

We are truly blessed to have Christ who dwells in us richly and a community that is true, real and honest. One that is really available and engaged . One that speaks into others lives with words of life.

And so we look forward to what God is doing in Thomas' life. Our prayer is for him to hind himself in the wing of the almighty and find his rest in God alone.

Thank you Jesus.

One of my observations of yesterday was this....

Other people notice things about our children that we think only we see. They notice, they care, they pray and they love our children. This was a real heart moment for me with Thomas.

Secondly, the weight of words spoken into a life struck me again. Words are so easy to say. They flow and find root in the hearer. I am reminded of the strong council in Gods word to gaurd our tongue. But the converse of this is when thought is put into our words, well, these carry weight and find a good place to rest and grow in us.
Friends have something to say too- I was really struck by the beautiful words Thomas friends spoke . These are insights and thoughts into him as a friend and they really warmed my heart.

The last observation is that our children being so different and individual ; just as God has made them; means that these celebrations , though they have a central idea, they have worked out quite differently. They have each reflectd something of the boy-man and his unique personality, gifts and wonderfulness:)

I love this about God, His creativity in making man is astounding in that we are each so different from one another. A truth to be celebrated.

in the togetherness of games( and other fun activites)

Our boys love to play screen games. I have made peace with this wonder . However, keeping the balance in life is always the tricky bit. This post is about a wonderful observation.

Sometimes I might suggest that the boys find a board game to play. We have a whole cupboard full of different games. Some are play alone kinds and others are group games. I might even suggest some. 9x out of 10 the simple answer is no.

There are two appraoches I have found that work in getting the boys involved in WHATEVER idea comes up. 

1. If I choose some games and simply put them on the breakfast table, the boys will play them:)

2. If I get the puzzle out and sit with them to get it going, they play!! In other words, if I or Doug get  involved and play or make or do then we ALL get invovled and have some fun.

I find that my own attitides and experience shifts when I get involved. We have some great family - together time and we have some great conversations. Those who are more introvert can have their alone time with their own game or puzzle while still being next to us. 

Gavin Keller, a great South African Principal from one of our loval Cape Town schools, gives some very encouraging talks. One of them is on the teens brain. I remember how he explains that the teens has a bull dozer digging up all the nerons in the brain and one of the good things to "make them do" is to do things together. Good healthy hormones are released when this happens that make the teen feel loved . 

These fun together times are one of these.

During the holidays I began to make a paper mache bowl along side our youngest son. He was making an elephant!!

While we tore paper and stuck shapes, the others slowly began to join in. The older two began to create something that has since died a death, BUT it was not the end result that I had in mind, but rather the time spent together, just tearing and sticking and chatting of course.

So, we have togetherness in the chaos of life piecing puzzles together that were previously " boring" and now are quite fun actually :)

The Modern Monderns.

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/02171/camera2_2171374b.jpg

 Today I enjoyed a visit to a few art galleries , in Cape Town, with some dear friends who happen to do art with me.

We began in my kitchen, a comfortable and safe place of much art and the normal chaos of a suburban life with four growing boys.

We journeyed out into Cape Town from suburbia. 

I experienced again that feeling of leaving the known and exploring the unknown that I often feel whenever we do anything new or different.

Sometimes I can feel this way when I meet a fellow human being so other than myself. Today it was the otherness of art.

We began at The Goodman Gallery in Cape Town and worked our way down into Salt River.

The Gallery itself finds its home in an older building and swishes us in with glass and good grace. I liked the feel of the gallery. It is open and has space for one to walk around and think. And think one  must with this exhibition.

[Working Title] is on until the 25th October and is an exhibition of a collection of artists. This is an annual exhibition held at The Goodman Gallery, who in so doing is supporting young and independent artists.

I can not make sense of the art here , for you, except to share some of the thoughts and feelings these art pieces evoke. I decided that instead of trying to decide if I like or dislike something I would simply listen to my feeling and ideas that flowed from the art works as I enjoyed it. 

So, for the first one where the artists projects his art onto a collection of familiar city objects all painted in white, I found impatience was my friend. This made me chuckle.... A real sighn of the times. I too can not wait for anything to begin or come along. This one realy reflected myself back to me. :)

Another that I began to read and was so full of words and pain was beautiful and yet I left its friend that played a DVD along side it. I was once again too impatient until my friend told me the sad story of that artisit . 

Art sure is sad sometimes.

And so we went on... what could this one mean? what is this person trying to say? what does this remind me of. 

Like a giant puzzle the morning unfolded.

http://mapmyway.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/ZanderBlom-Stevenson-248x300.jpg

These interesting works by Zander Blom  at another gallery, were what we ended up with. His strange juxtaposing of shapes and colour with thick oil on linen creating oil smudges or greasy pools, were talking points at most. The interesting thing for me was the lack of control he had over the oil running and so it is as if the art work "paints" itself. Makes me think of Pollock and the universe speaking idea. 

I personally did not like these works at all. Not because they were odd but because they held a disunity for me. The shapes he used di not flow together. Being a lover of shape and form I just did not like the jarring result of colour and shape that he used on his artwork. they made me feel as if he had not yet quite finished what he started. 

We left and headed for coffee at The Kitchen on Sir Lowery Road.  A must for delicious salads and sandwiches and good coffee. 

Heading home to suburbia, we reflected . Us 40 somethings had a blast but were quietly content to enter the real world of  organized chaos  and family disorder once again.

Having spread our art wings for the day, we had fun together and built good friendship wile trying to understand the strange world that art sometimes is.

ADHD - the Yucky of food

We are an ADHD family. If you have ready anything on my blog before, you will have come across a great deal of writting on ADHD. These posts are written to inform and encourage those who walk this journey. Hopefully they will also educate those who do not. 

This is a post about eating.

It is our experience of food and ADHD and I know many people who have a similar journey and some who are fortunate not to.

Food!

Food is an issue for me. I have a love hate relationship with it. I love it but it is not so loving to me.

I have struggled my whole life with my weight and so food is an issue for me.

Because of this, I have tried very much not to make it an issue for my kids. Thankfully I have 4 boys but I am fully aware that boys are also susceptible to the negative food issues and weight issues that are pervasive in our modern society.

Our youngest son is a thing boy. He is growing normally but he is thin. 

A friend of mine who is a nutritionist helped me shed some light on his food issues.

She was helping me think through how to fatten him up as he has lost some weight . 

As she spoke, I realised that part of the problem is he is not really interested in food. His sensory issues cause him to yuck at the sight of it and his ADHD means he is just not interested in it. It is not interesting. He has to eat but honestly if he did not have to, he would not. It is not important to him.

As I realised this, I felt relieved. At least I can see what the enemy is here and so we can work with it. She had some wonderful ideas.....

* get the child to help you cut up the veggies etc. In this way he will feel and smell the food and get used to it on a  sensory level. Even if he does eats it. It is entering his ADHD world. It might interest him

* take him shopping and let him see the food on the shelves and choose things that he might like to try

* ask him to think about the food he likes and why.... is it better to eat crunchy things than mushy etc

* get him involved in growing and picking food

Foods high in good fats like olive oil and peanut butter etc

Crumbed and crunchy fish and chicken

full fat milks etc

Parenting a child who has a tiny menu of things he eats; who is oppositional off ritalin and not hungry on ritalin, is challenging to say the least.

I am so grateful for this friend and thank her from my heart. She really helped me see things a little more clearly and offered some good solutions. 

Thanks Aila!