Understanding ADHD at our school - a first.

http://www.aceclinics.com/images/adhd-brain.jpg

This week we had the great opportunity to come together at our local primary school and listen to a specialist in ADHD. I was part of a team of people who put the talk together . it was a special evening on many levels. The topic drew a large group of parents , teachers and other professionals. It was indeed a very good evening. Our guest speaker spoke from a scientific , research base and from her own personal experience of helping treat children on the spectrum of ADHD. 

Her talk was informative and helpful. it focused on what ADHD is. She shared information on the importance of being diagnosed properly and with care. 

She gave some of her perspective on our beloved country and ADHD. The experiences we do not share with her. Those of the children from broken and poorer communities.

She reminded us that children get distracted for many reasons.

This notion that ADHD is mainly about distraction is argued against by Dr. Russel Barkley in the link below. Yes, ADHD children are distracted but it is NOT a disorder of distraction. Therefore many children who are distracted are NOT ADHD. ADHD is a disorder of the impulses!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAGc-rkIfo

She talked about medication.

She was clear, concise and we were left in no doubt the ADHD is real.

The thing I loved about her talk was the confidence it gave me as a parent. We went through the same vigorous assessments with our specialist and other professionals who know what ADHD is. We too, have traveled down the path of check lists and double check lists, of long and careful family history; of going where our own ADHD childhood pain lives. 

The take home message for me was one of confidence. 

We have a careful and thorough diagnosis of our 2 children.

They are ADHD.

ADHD is something that is real and is to be taken seriously.

If we have gone down the road of specialist care and help with our child. We, as most parents I speak to , have not just popped of to someone who DOES NOT know what ADHD is and DOES NOT do a real and proper diagnoses. We are not just asking for medication so that our children can sit still. The diagnoses of a child with ADHD is serious stuff. it is taken seriously by parents and specialists in this field.

Please then lets ALL take it seriously.

For parents and family, friends and teachers who work with with our children-

the message is clear

- we have had a specialist diagnose and treat our child

Please take the diagnoses seriously and work with us as we treat, help, support and grow these children into adults who can function well in society.

There is more to treating ADHD than simply popping a pill.

 

Take out that log first!

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This is a post I write to myself. 

It is a true story about something that happened at our local school. You know the kind of thing I mean. The thing that a child does that gets all the tongues a wagging. What to be done about 'said' violation. What is the world coming too. Harsh and final judgements were made. 

Now, do not get me wrong, I know and believe that children and adults should have consequences when wrong is done. 

But in the midst of all these harsh and final words spoken by the parents in our community about the shocking acts of these children, I wondered, sometimes aloud about GRACE. 

Surely I reasoned, that grace is what is need here. These are after all two little children and yes, their act was big but what about the teachable moment. 

What about grace.

We talked a great deal about this in our home. I was harsh at first but as the days went on, I wondered about these children. What made them do it. 

Then, at our weekly prayer meeting at school, we had the pleasure of a new mom. 

We shared a bit and laughed a bit. Her attendance was puzzling as the term is nearly over.

She began to share , on that deeper level, that painful one. 

She is the mother of one of these ' wicked' children. 

Speechless!!

She shared how that some in the community have shunned her and her other child. Some have rejected. All, but one of her child's friends have forsaken her. The pain and stress of this mom was tangible. 

And so, what about grace.

You see, we so easily forget that our darling little children are indeed born sinful. They are equally capable of doing equally wrong things. They indeed do. We just do not see them or experience them. 

Those disobedient acts; unkindness towards others; spitefulness; rudeness; and every act that is thought or done that is against God's law.

But our acts of sin are all just that, sinful. 

The act of sin flows from a heart that is in rebellion against a living and real God. We ALL shake our fists at him and say - no thank you, we want to rule our own lives, thank you. 

This is the very heart of sin.

We somehow forget this when looking from the outside in on other peoples outworking of sin.

We look past the log in our own eye and point out the twig in an others. 

And so we easily judge. We judge the parents by the act of the child. We gather and say unkind and hurtful thing about a parent who we have never even met. 

But now I have. 

I was reminded again that at the end of every act is a child, a real person and with that child is a real family. A mother and father that feels and breaths and lives. 

This mother is feeling and breathing and hurting.

Grace!!

Grace means that with real repentance there is forgiveness. 

Grace means we can offer kindness and real love in the midst of hurt and pain and sin.

It is what we have been called to do, if we call ourselves Christian.

These children have faced earthly consequences as we all do. They will also face God to answer, as we all will too.

All our children are actually in the same predicament. Just not so publicly.

So, we hold out grace and forgiveness, ESPECIALLY if we have tasted grace from our heavenly father and we are forgiven. Can we not find it in our hearts to welcome the sinner. So we love and welcome this family into our bigger school family. We support and encourage and love the children so that they may truly be restored. 

We offer grace to those who have sinned just as we have been offered grace by our loving God because we have sinned.

This is my prayer. 

This is a sad and yet beautiful story. A good reminder to NOT judge what we see but let God be the judge of all.

Take out the log first!!

The door of hope

http://www.joburg.org.za/images/stories/2011/June/door_top.jpg

I love a good story. 

I enjoy listening to what people have to share about their life and the experiences they have.

This has been a week of story listening. 

We each have a story to tell. Our story is unique and belongs to us.

Some of the stories I heard this weekend were uplifting and good. 

Like the ones about the gangsters who are set free by hearing about Jesus and what he has done for them , on the cross.

 Prison ministry is alive and well and brings real hope for people who are right at the bottom of life.

The stories people shared with gratitude of one of our teachers who has written personal, individual letters to each of his team members he coached, was a delight.

The effort and hard work that some parents sweat at to help their child pass. The sms that brought the news that indeed he had and much more than that, he had passed excellently.

Stories of hope.

Stories of love.

But then...there are also those stories, the ones that break a heart.

Living in the South African context there are many of these kinds. The ones that break the heart.

The Door of Hope is one such story. The excellent and loving work that this NGO does in JHB, taking in those abandoned babies. The ones no one wants. 

The interview highlighted for me, the facts of baby abandonment in SA. It is catastrophic and deeply saddening. It is overwhelming!!

Living in SA is often both deeply saddening and overwhelming.

Lord, please give us grace.

 

 

The offer of 'healing' ADHD in Parents name!!

Today I write a post that has both angered and saddened me- deeply!!

I am all for reading interesting ideas and help on ADHD and will look at lots of stuff around this topic. Today I was sent a name of an American woman who offers the most amazing thing for our ADHD children. 

 This is an offer not to be missed or taken lightly!

I am all for seeing the 'blessing' in the ADHD brain. This little picture above is an example of what I mean. Today's visit to this site was, for me, a really painful experience. It was one that actually shocked me and has opend the door to all the 'amazing' offers to us, as parents of ADHD children.

Do not get me wrong. I am a Christian and I know the power of God to be real and active. ONLY he can heal and has the right and authority over illness, disability, struggles and even death. 

I know in whom I trust to have to power to do the healing. 

God does his work as he wills. He heals who he chooses. 

We ask and he acts - in his forever and always love towards his people.

I get very upset when anyone offers healing ---- certain and sure.

So, this woman's offer is quite amazing. She offers me, a mother of ADHD children, the ability  and power to take charge of my child's brain. She offers me the power to heal his ADHD brain. 

This is the most mind blowing offer ever, excuse the pun.

' It is time for parents to take charge and claim the power to heal their children', are the exact words on her home page.

At this point I really , really become very angry.

This is a false offer of hope for parents who are desperate. It is not only a false offer of hope but a cruel one too.

Please hear me. She might very well have a programme that helps with children and their behaviour. But her offer is for healing. 

 Worse still, is the burden it places on any parent who reads her offer and then refuses it. 

I guess this is what the expert in ADHD and brain development and understanding call the junk information on this topic. To be avoided at all costs. 

I would love my child to struggle less in this life. We work extremely hard at trying all sorts of things to help our children at their point of need. But never... not ever, could I or would I hold the claim that I could heal my child. 

That is the work of God and God alone. I , thankfully am not him!! 

So, beware of the offers available. Take them at your own peril! 

ADHD - Special indeed!!

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I am privaledged to be counted among those who bear the name Jesus.

From time to time, I write about ADHD and my faith. 

I can not separate these in my thinking and indeed in my being, because my faith is an integral part of who I am and who our family is. Trusting Jesus and his death on the cross - living for him and under his loving rule, is the only thing that makes sense.

My faith in him, is the umbrella , the banner, the very essence of why I am alive and gives me the perfect, clear and wonderful direction and purpose to this life.

Being an ADHD family is not without its struggles. I have written about these on many occasions. 

The way the neurological system of an ADHD child and indeed and adult works is fundamentally different from that of another child. it is A Typical. As we travel on this journey as parents and as a family we continue to hold onto these truths.

God is real and kind

He is all loving and has not, for one second, stopped loving us

He made each one of our children and has a purpose and plan for there lives

We can trust him with each son

He has totally forgiven us at the cross AND

we are therefore able to forgive each other as we struggle

We are able to forgive the public and there harsh, misunderstaning towards ADHD

We are free to live lives pleasing to him

He is at work in and through us for our good and his glory

We are not ever alone

and then....

God has chosen the foolish things of this world to shame the wise-

He has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the strong.... Jesus was weak and poor and without human status. He died a cruel and shameful death of a criminal. The God who called the universe into being, hanged on a cruel cross, beaten and in a mess. 

He died for each man, woman and child who has ever lived and who ever will.

If they will come to him, he will forgve them.

He has done it all for us.

He knows what it is to be weak, poor, humbled and rejected. 

Jesus walked this life and totally understands our pain and struggles. We can come to him with anything.

And we do...

The special needs of an ADHD child are important to God.

He can take this child, these children and in him, he can use them for his glory, despite their very real and sometimes forever struggles.

Today, I was reminded of this and I was encouraged

With Jesus the ADHD child is special indeed!!!

 

 

ADHD - Local is Lekker- Join us as we bring awareness to living with ADHD.

ADHD in Adults - What is it?

http://www.columbiapsychiatric.com/Images/pic-add.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyDliT0GZpE

Russel Barkley explains ADHD excellently. 

Check this out!!!

The Adult ADHD person has greater impulivity with emotions ; time managament is a struggle; impulsive decision making .... listen to this and you will learn why this is.