A struggle with Assurance

'For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39

I have found these words in scripture to be of enormous encouragement over these last few days. For a while now I have been struggling with what I call Spiritual Depression. I have found myself through my circumstances and struggles , disconnected from the living God. The scriptures have become dry and dusty; mere words without comfort or challenge. I could no longer hear the voice of God as I read his word or sat in church. I felt depressed and without hope. My emotions completely underwhelmed me and all I know of our Great God simply slipped away. However hard I tried I just could not feel him , see him or hear his voice. I felt totally alone and very, very miserable.

However, when God is real and involved in a life he never ever lets them go. He is faithful and kind and living and at the right time he gently drew me back again. I had shared with my husband who was so encouraging prayed for me regularly ; I shared with my prayer friends who were equally loving and reassuring and I had shared with a friend my state. While they prayed and talked and reminded me of the truth that is and I seemed to sink deeper into despair , God was at work.

One day last week I had some time to read while waiting for children. I read Psalm 100 - God reminded me that I am to shout for joy and worship God with gladness because he is God and I am his child. The psalm goes on to say that we may enter his gates with thanksgiving and praise. It was with these very words that I was reminded that I am forgiven and that I may enter his presence . I may go into The Living God's very presence because of Jesus and I may be thankful. Wow! I was struck again of the simple truth of who God is and what he has done for me. I was restored and forgiven and he has removed my sin. I was back in the fold.

Then God in his grace gave me two reminders. Firstly he reminded me of who I am and how much he loves me through some good friends who share their lives with us and then through his word on Sunday which was from Romans 8:37. We were reminded with the beautiful truth that nothing , absolutely nothing will or can separate us from God's love that is found in Jesus.

And so once again I can stand and sing with my heart and my head -" you have promised you will lead us to your throne. We
here we will worship you and you alone". and "For one day we will stand before you Lord. Our all together beautiful reward. And we will give you glory, give you honour . King above all Kings. You deserve our everything. we will lift our voices with your praises. Jesus you are our King." tree 63 King.

I am so grateful that my being and staying faithful to God does not depend on my ability to love Jesus or serve him or obey him but rather is placed in his hands and so I know with certainty that I will stand before him one day. What a joy and comfort that is. I am so grateful for Christian friends who faithfully help us as we help them when we stumble and fall. We serve a mighty and most wonderful God and I can not wait to meet him face to face one day.