Sunday, March 29, 2015

Teenagers are for real.

You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. Deutoronomy 11:19

http://www.thelearningcommunity.us/Portals/0/four%20teens%20in%20school%20hall.jpg

Of our 4 sons, two of them are teenagers, one more fully than the other, if you know what I mean.
The teen years have been surprising for me. I am enjoying so much of the interactions, laughter and just the way they' see life',; Their point of view is often insightful and profound. They cut to the chase on issues and see things as they are. There is a side to these years that we all dread and anticipate , hoping beyond all hope that these things will not come our way. You know what I am talking about. It is the reason we go to all those teen talks on sex, drugs and alcohol. The ones that talk about the stats on prison and teens and all the horrors that await us as parents of teens. The talks that leave us shaky and afraid.  The ones that point out all the errors we are definitely making and so we land up feeling  at a loss in our parenting. Of course not all those talks are like that and some have been more than helpful and I am grateful for those. 

The thing is we actually do know our kids and we are able to speak into their lives in relationship. We do have permission , as parents, to take that space as ours and to really work in it. Teaching teens truths about manners and good attitudes is essential but equally so is us sharing our thoughts on morality. The world is all about morality. it shouts it in almost every movie, advert, magazine and newspaper. The voices are loud and clear. Somehow we, as parents, have been duped into thinking we have no voice. I disagree. Claim that space back. These are your children and you have a right to speak.... so speak up loud and clearly!!! They really long for you to.

No matter how much we up skill ourselves on the hows and whats of the teenagers wold, it comes at us with a rush. The one thing that I think Gavin Keller said was that the hormones of the teenager change everything. What you previously experienced as your child is somehow over ruled by these dangerously things called hormones. I think this is spot on.

I write this understanding these truths about the teens body and yet at the same time feeling desperately sad. The thing is, no matter how many talks we attend, we do actually know what it is like to be a teen, because we have been one ourselves. We know the angst and pain; the uncertainty and craziness of that time in life. We are able to speak into our teens lives with hindsight and with wisdom because we know.

The pitfalls are real. The world presses in on the teenager, pushing and jostling him and wooing him; enticing him. There are little - big things like the swearing and the attitude but then there are the bigger things like the giving away of yourself and the taking of another in kissing, fondling and sex. These are separate and alongside the alcohol, lying and drug experimentation. Perhaps that is what it is, all one big experiment. The sad truth is that this experiment has consequences.  Personal brokenness and sadness are born in the teen  years and live on into adult life itself. Many a Christian fights the demons of the teen past. 

In observation , our teens do something that I think we can all identify with. They choose to live what I would call, a dual life. There is the home life- the one reserved for family and church etc and then there is the other life- the one that is for friends and school. These two lives are in opposition  with one another. They are not united and whole but separate and disjointed. The question is who is the real you? Further more , if you profess the name of Jesus, how much more do you need to be real and authentic in ALL areas of your life, because your witness is nullified if your walk is not the same as your talk. Why would teens come to Christ if you are living a dual life. There is no reason. :(

And so where does that leave me? The parent who loves Jesus and who's greatest desire for each of my sons is to follow Jesus and live for him. I am fully aware of the costly call this has on a teens life. It is obvious that they will be different from the rest and yet my prayer is still that he would choose that path because it is the path that leads to life. 
The teen pull to fun and experimentation is a journey that leads to death . Gods call is also on our teens lives and he asks for their hearts in obedience and worship of him. I think of the family who have just buried their son Greg at 20. A remarkable young man. His life was a testimony to God at work in the youth. He is, he really is at work and I pray for our sons and indeed for their friends that if they profess the name of Christ that they would live that out, no matter the cost. 

This brings me back to Deuteronomy 11:19. We are to teach our children Gods word so that they can know him and live for him in a world that really has no interest in Jesus. 

I am so grateful for our youth leaders... Paul and Leonard.. Leighton and the team of young men and women who serve Jesus and love our teens. Thank you. It is tough out there but you are the trail blazers who show them that there is another way.... Jesus way.



Lord I pray for the teens of our world. I pray for a working of your mighty hand in saving them . I pray for those who profess your name that they would live for you in the home and in the school. Father that they would not opt for dual living but that they would be young men and women of integrity. Lord help them because it is tough out there. They need to know you care  for and love them deeply. Please show them how much. Help us as parents to speak up and love our children, no matter the cost. 

In the mighty name of Jesus
Amen!




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