http://add-assets.com/asset/3334.jpg
‘Trying to find the
right key to unlock the door’, is how I experience being a mom of an
ADHD child.
His gifting , strengths and weakness are exposed and real and yet
he just can not seem to quite get there. His output does not measure with what
I know to be true of him and the results measured in tests, assessments and
performance on the sports field and the like is not consistent with either his
talents or his ability. The key just does not seem to fit. I suspect if you
spoke to any parent of a child on the spectrum, you would find much the same
kind of experience. The child is not really flying or flourishing and yet you
know he could. He has the ability to really fly and yet…..
This gap between what one sees and knows to be ability and
what one experiences as the parent or even teacher of an ADHD child can be
exhausting, worrying and exasperating. Being a teacher I am full of the love of
finding ways for children to learn and come out tops. Somehow this is not
always the experience with an ADHD child. I think one of the reasons why this
is so , is that they actually think and problem solve in a very different way.
The brain works in extraordinary ways; thinking quickly and cutting through all
the ‘stuff’ to get to the conclusion. The ADHD brain is captivated by
interesting and extraordinary and the non-predictable. The mundane tasks of
life are really very ‘boring’ and of little interest to him. Unfortunately,
life and learning is full of the mundane!
A very real example of this right now is with our son who is learning to read. For him , the process of learning to read , although was fun initially is now really mundane and so he is really struggling to engage with it at all.
The process has become mundane and is therefore boring
Yes, initially it was fun and exciting but day after day, week, after week,
well, by now I have totally lost all enthusiasm and interest. By page 4 he is
about to explode. He read out loud in a muffled voice; chin on my hand.
It is as if he is being tortured. I, the mother of said child, just want to cry. “How in the
world are you going to learn to read?”
Today our older child shed some excellent light on the
problem. He began to by saying, ‘ Mom, you know what the problem is here. He is
bored. It is boring.”. Spot on oh insightful one . I just love how he can empathise with those who are struggling. :)
Here is when personality comes into play. Our older
son was bored beyond bored learning to read but he is deeply competitive and so
decided to ‘force’ himself forward. Get it over with so to speak. He made it
through and is a good reader today and loves reading. But here and now , we have a
different little man. Same problem, different child. I am hoping that some help
from professionals will shed light but mainly I am praying that learning to
read will just work. The words will just become his and that we can move on to
the next phase. I am well aware that falling behind in reading is detrimental
to ALL learning and so feel a sense of
urgency and panic. The ADHD child is
often not totally available for learning and needs help. His distraction and
hyperactivity means that chunks of learning is missed. If enough is missed each
day, well it is obvious what the end result will be. Finding the right key to unlock the door is
tricky and tough. It is probably one of the main concerns of every parent who
has a child on the spectrum.
There is a key. Can we just find it please Lord and may it fit!!
I am so grateful that I know Jesus. The king who has planned all of my life and each of my children's lives well in advance. He has the perfect grace for me for each situation and he is at work in our lives. He is teaching us all to cling to him and ask from him ALL that we need to help with the mundane. With Jesus life is never mundane. Both my ADHD children have a very real and beyond their age understanding of struggles and suffering. The older has a thriving relathionship with Jesus and the yonger can explain excellently why life is so tough- ' because we would not trust God if it were easy, " he tells me regularly.
Never a truer word has been spoken!!
Thanks you Jesus.
No comments:
Post a Comment