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I am Bored
These three little
words are words I hear spoken from the mouth of my ADHD children almost every
day.
I need to tell you a
little about our home. It is a busy, bustling place. We have lots of books,
board games, Lego, playmo. Individual games and the like.
I teach art to adults
and children and so we have all manner of art equipment available as well as
clay and interesting paper.
We have a large
garden with a sandpit and a climbing frame.
In short… we have
stuff to do.
So, why then do I hear
these words?
I am bored mom.
In my reading and
having had this explained to me by the three professionals who have come along
side us, I understand the bored thing like this.
The child is not
really ‘bored’ but rather can not find something that grabs his brain. The
mental effort to gather his thoughts and apply it is really, really difficult.
It is exhausting. It is far easier to give up on this mental effort and opt for
“I am bored”.
Depending on what
time I have available to my son at this point of boredom will depend on the out
come. Sometimes I am in a rush and so I can not bake with him or play a board
game. If I am busy cooking I get him to come and help me with the slicing and
decorating. I also might go and find the games he might like to do and put them
in the kitchen with me. I try and remember that it is the mental effort to
think of something to find to do that is tripping him up. Once I narrow these
things down for him, well he is often off. He loves to chat so we chat a lot at
these times too.
Boredom at school is
far more difficult to ‘manage’. My older son is often bored at school. For, him
the pace of work is just too slow. His brain is sharp and bright and he gets
ideas quickly. He can not bear to sit and wait and so this boredom – brain
boredom is torturous. In his case I try
and get him to chat to the teacher about setting of on his actual work as soon
as he can or allowing him to read a bit. Sometimes these ideas work and
sometimes they don’t. It is very much dependant on the teacher.
Talking things
through with him helps enormously. I try and give him positive encouragement.
Holding his emotions and frustrations around being bored is key. I want him to
know that I ‘get it’ and I ‘hear’ him.
I once asked my
husband to complete this sentence.
‘Being bored to an
ADHD person is like ……. Torture’, he replied without hesitation.
Know that I know
this, I always take ‘ I am bored’ seriously and try as best I can to help
direct and gather something that might grab his brain.
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