The Selfishness of Self

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We live at a time in the history of the world where the "self " is what life is about. Self -fulfilment ; self- worth; self -actualisation ; making sure that the self is whole and happy seems to be a core value for most of us.

No where more illustrated in the  obsession with taking the perfect "selfie."

(Not that it is wrong to take a selfie)

Tim Kelller has written a fantastic little book called " the Freedom of Self-forgetfulness. He penned the ideas but actually God is the origional author and designer of the idea.

It is  a deeply challenging read, if you call yourself a Christian.

The key idea here is that man is so occupied with looking after the ego - the self . How do we do this?

well, through Pride and Boasting!

Mmm, doesnt that just hit the nail on the head?

The thing that is so tricky here as I navigate my own heart before the Lord is not just that I have a selfish and sinful ego but that I have children who have selfish- sinful egos. The obsession with taking care of our ego is not just limited to our own self but if we are parents, we are either helping our kids to recognise that pride and boasting or we are fanning it into fame.

That our children are proud and will easily boast or compare and compete is real and all to obviously prevelant in the world. There are so many oportunities to shine offered to modern kids.

What to do about it and how to mannage it is quite another.

I asked a bunch of kids I teach art to to write me some of the things they are grateful for. 

The list was slow in comming and short. Had I asked them to list all the things they are good at or want to get, I wonder what that list would have looked like?

I think we have been duped! I think we have subtly bought the lie that if our kids have lots of good ego boosts in their worlds through sport, academics art and drama etc, then they will be happy. We say out loud, " Oh no we know that this is not true" BUT we act in a way that we believe it is. I see it again and again. I see it in my own heart and in the heart of those around me. 

Social meda is full of parents boasting and prideful posts of the fantastic things their kids do. And they really are fantastic. 

That is not the point.

I wonder how we are helping our children grasp that Jesus has a whole other agenda for their hearts. His call his BIG and true and it will cost. 

I hope that others who read this might wrestle side by side with me in this very treaturous water of fostering pride and boasting versus other centeredness and humility.

After all it is the Lord who gave each and every beautiful talent to our children!!