The Great Sugar Story

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Welcome to the world in which we all  live!

The world of delicious food and a plethora of choice .

 Just take pizza as an example. 

What kid of topping might you choose? What sort of base? To cheese or not to cheese ? TO bant or not to bant.

Food is good and good food is fun to eat and share with those we love. 

The question on the table here is....

Is the food we eat every day making us sick?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uaWekLrilY

This movie about sugar suggests that it is and all because of the added sugar that goes into 80% of the food we eat. The hidden sugar that we consume on a daily basis adds up to a substantial amount indeed. More than our bodies are designed to cope with.

I have become a sugar detective. Convinced by my doctor who is no quack but a regular GP with regular treating methods, that I should cut out the sugar in my diet, I gave it a go. Not before having purchased a good book to read on the subject and having watched some great TED on it too

Watch this TED https://www.ted.com/talks/jamie_oliver?language=en

or this one

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBnniua6-oM.

The key reason my doctor was keen for me to get off sugar was that I have had pain and inflamation for about the last 10 years.

The pain I experience was with me constantly, every day and would often wake me up in the night. 

Sugar causes inflamation and so it would make sence that I try remove the sugar part of my diet.

Just to clear, I am no sugar junkie. I do not take sugar in my tea or coffee. I do not eat loads of cake. In fact my only sugar intake was probably the one chocolate I had probably every day and the hidden sugar in the food I ate. 

So --- I cut it out!!

My experience in my body has been profound.  The key 2 things that have changed are these...

1. the pain in my hip has disappeared

2. my craving for sugary, sweet things has gone

The interesting thing is that if I should eat a something with sugar in , which is on the rare occasion, I will wake up in the night that follows in great pain. 

I have kept a careful note of this sugar vs pain response in my body  and without any doubt this is the resuslt. I realise this is anecdotal evidence but it does seem to bear witness to the information being found and shared in the media.

I encourage you to do some investigation and see if the claim that sugar is making us sick might just hold some truth. 

I recall visiting a sugar mill while on holiday in Kwazulu. It was a great excursion and extremely educational. Those who have visited Natal will recall the beautiful rolling hills of sugar cane. Sugar is what makes this place tick. 

The movie Amazing Grace is about slavery and the fight to bring it to an end. The key comodity that people where transporting apart from people was  indeed SUGAR.

Sugar has been with us for a long, long time but perhaps it has had its day.

Find out for yourself!!

on the complexity of relathionships ....

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Relathionships

Relationships hold the potential to be both exceptionally beautiful and building and vicious and destroying. Sometimes they simply hover in the in-between. that space which is neither building or breaking but just irritating.

Relationships are complex and complicated.

They are grown and expressed through the web of life, love, disappointments and circumstances , not forgetting the "stuff" that childhood brings with it nor the realities of difficulties brought through ADHD; depression; bi-polar and other personal struggles.

and so I say this...

Relationships are complex.

Healthy relationships take a great deal of commitment, honesty and jolly hard work.

I have experienced both the joy and beauty of good, healthy relationships and the deep sadness of those that just do not make it.

Like many people reading this post, I have witnessed relationships dear and near to me simply break down and break up and people walk away from each other with deep wounds and scars.

I carry each of you in my heart and prayers, regularly!

As a Christian, there are some key truths that hold with any and every relationship. These I have found , not just as words found in an old , dusty , irrelevant book. But just as I found the truths written in that old , perhaps long forgotten book - the bible- living and breathing and alive. True!

Grasping the first is in essence the key that unlocks all the others. In any relationship, there are two sinful people. Sin is such a deceiver. It whispers the lie that it is the other to blame and or that I deserve better. Sin is no friend of good , healthy , growing relationships. It is bossy, power seeking, self- seeking and deeply, deeply selfish. It is the " always having to be right"  and" I have to have my needs met" stuff. Sin holds onto hurts and refuses forgiveness. In recognising myself as a sinner I recognise that I hold a very important part of any good and bad relationship.

The second truth of all relationships flows from the first. If I recognise my sin ( and as a Christian I have found forgiveness in Jesus ) well, then it is regular and real that I will hold out the hand of forgiveness to others, especially those near and dear. 

Forgiveness is a key to good, healthy growing relationships. It is the very thing that affords any troubled relationship that opportunity to change. It is the space created for something else. It is not cheap and it came at a cost but if I truly understand my forgiveness before a holy God then I can and must offer forgiveness towards others.

Tim Keller describes forgiveness in a helpful way. It is recognising a debt is owed and absorbing the debt into yourself. That is exactly what Jesus did for me and for you on the cross.

The path and choice of forgiveness is a journey. One I have had to walk and no doubt will have to walk in the future. It is painful and can be lengthy. How do you know if you have forgiven someone.

Well, do you pick up the "thing" and hold it against them or have you laid it down?

The third truth in relationships is also linked to the first. Good relationships will not flourish if I am self- serving and self- seeking. If I choose to serve others in love then there is a space created for kindness and joy to flourish.

I have a very good friend who is an excellent example of this truth. Her husband has been really unwell for about 2 years now. One of the things that has helped him, is a radical and drastic change in all things diet. This has fallen very heavily onto her shoulders. I have only 2x seen her get really frustrated about her husbands situation( not hers mind you) and I have watched her and continue to watch her serve him, cook his weird food, love him with kindness that is self denying and through this she shines out Jesus love to him and to others. thank you my friend for this example!!

These 3 truths are by no means the ONLY things that help in relationships but for now these are them.

recognising your position - a sinner

offering and living in constant forgiveness

serving others

Finally I would like to write a word about God and his work in our relationships.

Romans 8:28 tells us that God is at work in ALL situations - for his glory and our good - if we belong to him.

In the messiness of relationships , and boy they can get messy:(,  God is at work. I have held on to this truth and experienced it in my life. God has worked a miracle in my  life and he can in yours BUT you have to work with him and trust him and obey!

Chatting to people who are in the thick of things, I often will remind them of this truth , and there is a real wall of non-belief. I guess this is because the pain and hardship weighs to heavy. I get this. I truly do! I have sat in that chair. What I did was, I chose to trust God DESPITE what the circumstances looked like.  But having come out the other side and seen God at work , I can testify that he will help you and he can save that relationship, if you just let him.

It is worth it.

What a Farewell!

This is our Tom!!

It is a night to celebrate and thank God for. We are grateful for our second sons achievements at his primary school. Sweet Valley has been a great school for him. Tonight we celebrate and thank God for his gift of intellect that our Tom has. 

 He is a brother  to 3 boys  who love him very, very much!!

He has a darling teacher in Althea Muller and she has really brought the best out in him!! And many more, Ian, Paul and Cindy.... thank you!

Tonight, Tom earned the best overall academic award of the grade 7 year. He came top of his grade. Not only was I proud, but I really loved the support of friends who trully love our Tom and came to congratulate him. Despite his ADHD he has overcome, thanks be to God!! Tom we salute your hard work and dedication. You trully earned your reward!

Carrying you in my heart - the loss of a child to suicide

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Today , a family at our high school bury their daughter. A bright , beautiful 15 year old, with her life stretching before her.

Almost a year ago, another beautiful family buried their son of 13. 

Suicide is a hard and harsh reality in our South African context. The statistics are high and , if we listen closely, we know that these teens are hurting, struggling, longing and crying out to us.

Will we hear?

Reading the countless tributes to this young, beautiful woman, my heart wept.

In, truth it has been weeping all week for his parents and siblings; for her friends; for our school

and her previous school. 

Lord can you comfort today and in the weeks that lie ahead. Go to those places, those secret places, where no-one can go. Place your hand of loving kindness upon this family , today and comfort their deep and forever pain in the loss of this child..... their child.

People have asked me.... do we know why?

Why?

That answer may never be but what is true is that she is no longer here..... 

and a whole lot of people are hurting.

My heart is burdened for our teens.

The tremendous pressure to conform; be liked; fit in is real and reigns over these precious young people like a cloak waiting to smother them.

Lets love them

*

What in the world are we doing?

This is a photograph of our 4 sons. It was taken some years back now and ,James, our eldest son is 15 and in High School. All our boys play sport and each of them plays at a different level and at different degrees. We are a hockey family. We are also an ADHD family but above all we are a Christ following family.

The title of this post is "what in the world are we doing?" Because it ks a question that has plagued my mind over the years and which I revisited yesterday, as I stood alongside the hockey astro. Mind you it is present in the classroom, in the home, in my art room, in the homeschooling environment, and even in church.

The thing I am talking about here is competition. That driving to be the best or better than the person along side us. I am not against a bit of healthy competion and nor am I blind to the reality that some have within them a competitive nature. I have written about it in relation to ADHD and our son. I get it, and yet I don't.

You see , yesterday I witnessed something so pitiful, so deeply sad and shocking, It made me angry. I experienced darling parents, who collect their children along side me at the school gate, turn ugly. Primarily their focus was on their own child and so so e might say there is nothing in that. However, the most haunting statement I took way was this one, " you are better than they are" and I thought to myself, " Doesn't this encapsulate the heart of what competition is for us, as parents?"

You are better.

This was a school, in house, 8 and 9 year old , fun hockey match.

So, I thought I would write and just maybe, maybe someone will hear.

Character counts more than being better than someone. That is simply an outward measure. How a child wins or looses, how he or she treats his team mates and the opposing side is what counts. It is what will remain , at the very end.

Character, who you are when the chips are down. Faithful, kind, other centred, encouraging, thoughtful, a good winner and great looser, true to yourself, honest and a beautiful human. 

I plead with parents, be aware, be careful, be sure and be prepared to reap what you sow with your mouth. Our children....all of them are listening.
Sport is a brilliant place to learn all sorts of good and healthy things , for life itself. I fear that all our children are learning is that they are better than the next child.

Despite ADHD conquering his world

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Our son Thomas is 13 years old. He is grade 7 which is the last year of primary school in the South African school system. Next year, he will join our oldest son at one of the top high schools in the Western Cape. We are thrilled at all this.

Let me tell you something about Thomas.

He is an energetic, fun, sport loving, highly inquisitive, bright and challenging child. 

He is one of the hardest working children I have met, and I have worked with many children , tutoring them in Maths and Afrikaans, in addition to having my own four children. I dont just say this because he is my son. I say this because it is true. over weekends and into the night he will set his mind to a task. He will say not to a beloved hockey fun gathering so he can complete a science poster. 

Thomas!

Thomas is off to Hong Kong this Thursday, as part of a team of 4 children. They are taking part in an international Maths competition.

Thomas is a highly gifted child. We have known this since he could speak. God has given him a fabulous brain which works well and is fun to share in. May god grant Thomas the grace to use it for Gods glory!

Thomas has achieved exception in Hockey and squash , art and in academics. He is an exceptional child with a fast Wit and great sense of humour.

Lazy is not part of his vocab!

Thomas is ADHD. 

He is impulsive in body,  speech, actions , emotions and thought. He is exceptionally fast thinker and talker!

To win an argument is tricky. To get a word in is almost impossible.

He is a joy and a challenge to parent.

He is supper bright and a great kid,

We love him with all our heart!

Thomas has achieved exceptional things, considering ADHD. 

He has to work harder, overcome more, contain his wondering thoughts, navigate daily boredom, study three times as hard as another child - conquering his working memory struggle and he keeps on track with his impulsive brain in tow!

For those who do not know ADHD or live with it, these words will seem, well ho hum, but for those who get it; have it; love it and live it, you will understand that against the odds, this child has really done exceptionally well.

He deserves the praise- double time!!

It has not been easy - not the work content - but the work load; not the understanding but the remembering and holding the mundane and boring ( for him) so he can use it again. 

Thomas Adam Falconer , you have surprised us all and conquored much. Well done darling boy. We are grateful for his school where opportunities have been offered for children like Thomas to grab and go. 

 May god continue to be merciful as you journey on into high school. God is glorified in you as you live for him!

Go Team Hong Kong South Africa.

Being the best you were made to be - Caren Falconer ( booklet )

Dear Reader.

 I have written this for the children I tutor. Please feel free to copy and use it with your own children. Over the years I have found that children need to have a bigger vision of their education than is offered to them. Why are they at school? What is the purpose of maths and Xhosa. 

 This booklet does not really answer that but perhaps is a launch for some good conversations around that.

 I hold that education is a gem. A real privilege . A gift offered to a child but a gift that he has to take and own for himself. Yes we support and help and encourage from the sideline, but in the process he has to take the batton and run the race. I hope this little booklet helps to shift attitudes  and help him to take a step towards owning his education.

 That is what this book is all about!!!

How to be the best you were made to be!!

Do you want to do your best at school?

 If your answer is yes, then read on.

I have put together some HOT tips for doing YOUR very best at school.

I have taken them from a very helpful little book by Dave Schaller called passing exams. I have also added some of my own ideas from all the work you have helped me with over these years and from having 4 of my own children.

I really hope this will inspire you to always give of your own, personal best. When you work hard; listen well; work your neatest and participate in class, the winner is actually ...

YOU!!

Giving of your best in all of life is about your character. It shows what kind of person you are. It reflects that you care about yourself and others. This is called respect!!

Hot tip #1

Set yourself a personal goal and try not compare yourself with other children!!

Going to school is part of getting an education. This  is a special gift that your parents are giving you. Many children in our country and in the world are not able to learn and grow as people who can live healthy lives in the world. It is such a privilege to be able to learn to read, write and think.

My hope is that some of  what you read here, might inspire you to work the best you can and reach for success.

Only YOU can do it!!

Ask a parent to read this with you and help you think through some of the ideas.

Hot tip #2

YOU are the one who is responsible for your success at school.

You are the one who benefits from the success.

It is all done by you and you will get the reward.

Your parents have passed these tests and this grade.

Yes, there are several people who are here to help and support you.

* your parents

* your family

* your teacher

* your tutor

* other adults who care

BUT

in the end, it is up to you!!

What is your goal for your schooling ?

Why do you go to school?

Going to school is about .........................

Perhaps  you are motivated to work well because you want to do well. You want to know that you have done your very best. This is a good goal to have for yourself.

Write down why you think you go to school and what your own personal goal is. Share it with someone.

Perhaps you want to be popular. Wanting to succeed means you need to surround yourself with friends who also want to succeed!!!

If your friends are lazy, disruptive and don't care, that will rub off on you and you will become someone who does not care.

*

How do you fell about tests, assignments and exams?

How you feel will influence your attitude towards these aspects of school.

If you are negative and moan about them then this attitude will get in the way of your success in studying.

What is your attitude towards exams and tests?

Have a think and write it down here........

Hot tip #3

If you want to succeed in your schooling and at exams, you need to have the right ingredient.....

a good, positive attitude!!

Exams always seem to make us groan but actually if we think differently about them, they become easier to do.

Here is a list of why exam time is actually fun.

* schoolwork finishes

* school closes early

*perhaps you get yummy treats to eat

* in High school you might get days off at home

* in our family we get to spend some good time together because we are not so busy at school

you can add to this list with your own ideas......

Having a good approach in attitude to schoolwork and exams really helps you do well and be successful!!

*

Getting an education is of great value in life. It will open the doors to many other opportunities in life as you go forward. This part is just a stepping stone to the next bit.

so....

How can you be successful and do well at school?

what do you think?............................

 Hot tip #4

One of the things that help you do your best is if you decide to work consistently throughout the term and the year.

Working well in class is working smart. If you pay attention to the lessons, ask questions and participate in it, you will develop a healthy, good attitude towards school.

Strangely, your brain is very sensitive to the messages you feed it. If you work hard at being positive, it will mean that studying is easier for you and you will do better over all.

Your brain believes the messages you tell it about yourself and your school work. If you say things like....

I can do it....

I am able to.....

I like or even love maths....

Even if I struggle I will get help .....

then you are helping your brain think positively about work.

But

If you say I can not do it....

I hate it.....

then you are making the work you have to do, more difficult.

Hot tip #5

Habits.

A habit is something that you begin doing regularly  and eventually it becomes part of who you are. Habits can be good - like reading regularly or bad like biting your nails. A habit becomes part of your day and the way you live.

here are some healthy - good habits to develop

1. Reading ---- If you read  every day you become a good reader - you are a reader by habit There is a saying that is helpful!! 

 

“Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.”― Stephen R. Covey, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

2. Exercise -  doing some form of exercise in the week and especially when you are writing exams is extremely good for you.

3. Eating - We all love to eat something. Eating healthy food and drinking water regularly helps feed our brains and bodies with stuff that it an use. Our brain can then help us learn!!

Developing good habits at school and with your school work, means you are helping yourself do your very best now and later on in your life.

What can you do to develop good habits at school and with your school work? What habits can you develop at home or at church. Everywhere you go, healthy habits are a good way to go. 

Make your own list of good, healthy habits .......

Today you can decide to develop self discipline and hard work at school, in the classroom, in doing homework and with exam studying.

Healthy habits begin with working consistently throughout the year.

work neatly in your book.

listen well and join in with the class discussion

do your own personal best.

DO NOT compare yourself to others.

Surround yourself with friends who choose success and be a friend that encourages others to succeed.

Hot tip #6

Decide to do it and commit to it!!

Over the years I have helped children succeed at school, I have noticed that the way a book is set out helps with the general organising of ideas in your brain.

It is helpful to yourself, if you always...

Work in an organised way when writing in a workbook or on a computer tablet.

Have a date, heading, page number if you have a textbook.

Try and work consistently ( in the same way) on each page.

You do not need to be super neat and colourful to be organised. Boys can be organised too!!

underline

work as neatly as YOU can.

write complete sentences and all the work required ( not just the answer)

If you work like this throughout the year, then studying is a pleasure.

Participate in class discussions. This helps school become more interesting.

Do all your homework on time!!

Hot tip #7

Get help if you need it.

If you feel that you are struggling  at school. Perhaps you do not understand everything. Perhaps you are not able to concentrate. Perhaps you are tired and sleepy and perhaps you just can not get organised.

Get help!!!!

Ask your teacher or parent to help you. there are people who help children who struggle with all sorts of things.

Hot tip #8

Keep going.

Persevere.

You do not need to be the best of all. You need to do your best.

Studying for tests and exams

1. most of the work was done in class and with your homework. You know it.

2. make sure you have all the right books to study from

3. have a place to study ( quiet)

4. have paper and pens ( colourful) handy

5. have a timer

6. set up a helpful planning time table - stick it up in a good place with your exam time table

7. get enough sleep, exercise and healthy food while studying and writing tests/ exams

8. begin with enough time to study well and revise

9. go for it!!!

10. do not be afraid. Fear shuts your brain down and you can not learn or write with success in mind. You do not need to fear a test if you have

worked consistently

studied well

Rescue remedy helps with anxiety.

*

a word about study techniques....

Mind maps -There are many ways to help your brain gather and remember information

Making a mind map is a very useful way to take large amounts of work and simplify them .

Other ideas -

Use white board markers to write on windows and fridge doors to help you remember. ( ask mom first)

Find any way that helps you get the information into your head.

You might need to move; talk to yourself; bounce a ball.

All the while thinking about what you are learning. It must make sense in your brain!!

Practice writing a past test if you can.

Practice writing neatly for the test so that your teacher can read your writing.

Ask your mom or dad to ask you some questions from your work.

But

don't expect them to learn for you.

You must do this for yourself. 

You can make flash cards for learning pairs of words like opposites in Afrikaans and English or even if you need to learn a list of definitions in science.

Put the one idea on one side and the other on the other side.

Flip them over to check yourself.

Reading over your work is not studying. It is reading.

Remember all this hard work is done by you and you will be the one who gets the reward.

Success and an education is a great reward.

Being educated is a precious gem that no-one can take from you and it is a door that opens into a world of possibilities!!