ADHD - Our Journey

We are a family with ADHD. This is our story!!

The label of the age must be this one .ADHD. Everywhere you turn and most people you talk to have at least heard of it. In fact, most people you talk to will probably have all sorts of ideas and especially opinions on ADHD and what it is or is not and especially on the R word.... Ritalin. I have a little joke that whenever I mention that My son and or husband take Ritalin , the persons eyes go all googly and they get frothy in the mouth. Then they proceed to tell you why your child should Not take Ritalin. But I am jumping to far now.....

Lets start at the beginning because every good story has a beginning somewhere.

When our son was a little boy, before school, I was sure he had ADD. Coming from a teaching background I knew enough about it but not enough about it to know for sure. He displayed some of the inattentive behaviour and the fidgety, fiddly stuff but I actually knew so little at tat time and so was completely unaware of what to look for. I did not know that ADHD could come without the H - Hyperactive. I remember thinking that he w=must be deaf - really deaf because he seemed so not to hear but in reality he was so focused on a thing he did not hear. As he grew and developed so to did his supper fast brain. Thats what we call it. He has and he know he has a super fast brain. He was quick as lightening and fast as flint on the ideas front. When he was in grade R I recall his teacher and the teacher before being critical of my pushing him to always be right and be first but in reality this was not the case. He was always a very sensitive boy and one who really struggled with frustration. Around this time we discovered through a varied path, that my husband was ADHD. So as we grappled and struggled and read and searched for help on the Adult front, our sons boredom and inattention and insensate talking grew and grew.

God was so gracious to us and we managed to find other people who were ADHD and good doctors to help. By this time he was in a deep depression and for those who know, People with ADHD often struggle with depression. We decided to have our son assessed by and Educational Psychologist in his grade one year. We went to a well known and experienced person in Cape Town, and after extensive assessment, we came out with a bit more understanding. This is a highly intelligence child with ADHD. He is so funny because he jokes that his brain reaches the conclusion way before others but he gets distracted and so they all reach the goal at the same time. How delightful is that?

I recently attended a very helpful talk on Medication and ADHD. I learned again the ADHD is genetically passed on so if one parent is on the spectrum then there is a 50% chance of a child being ADHD. We have one for sure another , smaller one ,perhaps!! Watch this space.

ADHD are incredible people. They have an enormous amount of perseverance in difficult situations and an out of the box way of viewing life. They love risky and dangerous things and so the art of steering the child towards safe risk is needed. Just today our son said he would like to feel what it feels like to roll in a car so he could be upside down. I pointed him to The Cobra at Ratanga Junction rather than a fast school bus and an accident. "But mom we would be strapped in, in the bus", he protested. :)

We embarked on the journey of reading prolifically about ADHD and talking and reading and crying and struggling. We also tried Ritalin. Ritalin is a stimulant drug. It is a schedule 6 drug in South Africa and so needs to be carefully considered before it is used. Under the very careful care of our Neurological doctor, we decided to give it a try. I remember his teachers words on that first school day. She was a delightful and perfect teacher for him and she greeted me at the door and said " Like chalk and cheese". I knew for sure that he needed this drug to help him at school and over these two years we have discovered that he has benefited greatly from it.

But this is not a push for Ritalin, it is simply our story. He can now tell us that he feels the difference when he takes it and is able to focus at school.
My Husband too has been taking it and I notice the difference in his fidgety body and ability to keep attention when needed and he notices how he has begun to use it with great success at work.

This ADHD is indeed a journey. I would be up the creek without a paddle if we did not have Jesus who is the rock and anchor. He is there when things get rough and we need wisdom and help. He always enables me to say sorry because I frequently need to do that - both to my husband and my son. He gives us grace to accept the strengths and weaknesses in us all and grace to help and encourage where we need to. I am so grateful we know this diagnoses. The truth is it is a struggle and at times it is exhausting but we press on knowledge of what we are dealing with and also with support from good friends and groups that understand ADHD and accept our children as they are, quirks and all.

Of course there are good days and failings. Sometimes the words of those who think they know ADHD and yet dont are hurtful and draining. Some days are great and full of enormous spontaneous fun. God has blessed our son with a deep yearning for himself and an understanding of his failings and need for grace. He often talks to me about assurance and how he messes up. "Am I A Christian mom?" he will ask. I walk him through the truth of Jesus and we pray and we press on.

There are some great books to help and a great web site that I would recommend too.

www.additudemag.com


and Learning to slow down and pay attention by K.Nadeau and E.B. Dixon

as well as
Understanding ADHD by DR Christopher Green. These two books are priceless in helping parents who have children on the spectrum.

This is part of our story: a glimpse of our journey. We press on with our great God who made us and gave us our gifts and talents. He spread before us the road each of us will walk on and is here with us in the mess and joy of life. he is our strength and gives us grace as we negotiate ADHD and its effects on life.
We were the label with confidence and knowledge knowing that the grand and brighter label shines above each of us Falconers. That of - I belong to Him.

I love that God brings people into our lives who need help and support in this area. We are here with experience and with some knowledge of doctors and books and roads to consider. We are always here to encourage and help where we can. Thanks be to God!