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Managing your time well is definitely one of the key ideas to success in life. Not necessary monetary success but success in the sense that things generally work. Important things get done .... on time.
One of the key things I have come to appreciate about my ADHD sons is this.
There are two times for them. There is the now and then there is the ' not now'. Dear reader , you might at this point be saying aha as you hear these words ring true of your ADHD person in your life. Understanding that the ADHD child lives in the present time in all his thinking has totally transformed the way I parent and what I expect from each boy in terms of planning ahead.
Both my ADHD boys are comfortable living in the now and pay little attention to the not now. In other words, what comes next in the day is of very little consequence. This is not the way life works though, is it? we are constantly having to think ahead; plan ahead ; live ahead in the future. Knowing that my boys struggle with what happens tomorrow, next week and next month means that I have had to put some things in place to help them to plan. My older son has developed and almost robot like planning for the next day approach. He marks of his homework with a coloured marker so he can see it clearly. He packs for the next day. All this I know does not come easily or indeed, naturally to him. he has learnt how to manage some time things. Other things simply fall through the cracks and pile up in the other side of the weekend. This happened today with with this weeks homework and projects. Poor kid. He was totally over whelmed and could not see what to do when.
There are good tips on line for helping kids who are ADHD plan ahead. Check out http://www.additudemag.com/. This is one of the best sites on ADHD with practical real help for kids and parents.
Our little boy who is ADHD definitely lives in the now. He can get into some game or another with no concern for the time ahead at all. He often does not know what day it is or what sport he has . If I ask him what he has on tomorrow , well that is a gonner. I have made a giant wall planner to help all our boys but especially him. As he learns to read and as he get the whole time concept thing I hope to try and edge him towards thinking a bit about ' the next thing' .
I have found that living in the now is the safe place for my boys. Having to think about what comes next is often stressful and creates frustration. In a world where we are constantly encouraged to push our kids to a really quite fabulous level of independence, I have found myself thinking in a very different way .
Yes, our children need to be independent and useful people when they are grown up and all adult . However, I know that I need help and support, guidance and encouragement, a helping hand ; a good diary that works for me and systems that support my needs. In the very same way all children and especially ADHD children need extra help and support; systems that work; a listening ear and words of deep encouragement .
Independent yes but with meaningful accountability and support. I find this a far better way to live life and know that an ADHD person needs these to - both child and adult alike.
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