In our more vulnerable and honest moments with each other, the truth is revealed. If we are a mother, we feel like we are failing in our 'job'.
I have these kinds of conversations with myself and with other honest women a great deal. There is enormous pressure on the modern mother.Pressure to be the all singing and dancing mother.... to always get it right.... to know our child deeply and to understand his or her every need.... to get it right all of the time... to be a perfect mother. And why ever not. After all we live in the age of information and real knowledge around human behavior and emotions. We understand the way people tick and really there is no reason not to get it 100% right , all of the time. We are hard on ourselves and hold ourselves to an incredibly high standard.
Striving for the perfect in myself causes me to expect the perfect in others and in this case my children. The perfect picture child is bound up without any space to just be a child. Children make mistakes. They get things wrong. They mess up. These mistakes and messes are all part of learning. it is surely in and through our mistakes that we learn a great deal.
I think if we relax a little we will allow ourselves to enjoy our children more and allow them to enjoy their childhood a great deal.
In reality we are not perfect parents. We will never be perfect and I think that, that is totally OK. Being a good mom is good enough. Every time I release myself from the pressure and burden of perfection I find a freedom and rediscover the fun of parenting. It is a relentless and at times difficult job. it is often thankless and did I say relentless. :) If we can somehow, be set free from the shackles of trying so darn hard to be something we are not.... well then we find something better.
Being a Christian always helps me with the "striving for perfection" idea or pull within myself and without in our society. God is perfect in every way. I am not!! His work in my life and the grace I find to parent well especially when things are difficult, are the very real things that help me rest in my imperfection and allow me to ask forgiveness for the times I mess up.
I am a work in progress and his Jesus' hands he is transforming me. Being a mother is a work in progress. God is transforming me especially in and through my parenting. In that place where our vulnerability ; dreams and hopes collide with reality - that place called parenting - well, it is in the middle of all this that I find God at work most. He is fashioning patience and crafting selflessness in ME. He is showing me where my pride is and revealing those hidden idols. Being a parent in Gods gracious hands is a revealing work of art. Parenting exposes my sinful , imperfect heart and if I am honest with God , he can get to work.
The journey of motherhood for me has been one of unshackling and discovering exactly what it is that I am as a woman and mother ; in this family under the circumstances we are living in and given all that we have and are. I have read many a parenting book on "How to get it.... well just perfect".... and frankly they really are of little help in the midst of real life with sinful children and a sinful mother. Lets add in a dash of ADHD and I very quickly found these sorts of books fairly irrelevant. However, there are helpful , insightful books which can give wisdom and good advice - perhaps just find the one that fits your personality and your family.:)
So, are you a "good enough" mom ?
It is a great question to ask and to find the answer too. I really want to be just good enough!!!
Striving for the perfect in myself causes me to expect the perfect in others and in this case my children. The perfect picture child is bound up without any space to just be a child. Children make mistakes. They get things wrong. They mess up. These mistakes and messes are all part of learning. it is surely in and through our mistakes that we learn a great deal.
I think if we relax a little we will allow ourselves to enjoy our children more and allow them to enjoy their childhood a great deal.
In reality we are not perfect parents. We will never be perfect and I think that, that is totally OK. Being a good mom is good enough. Every time I release myself from the pressure and burden of perfection I find a freedom and rediscover the fun of parenting. It is a relentless and at times difficult job. it is often thankless and did I say relentless. :) If we can somehow, be set free from the shackles of trying so darn hard to be something we are not.... well then we find something better.
Being a Christian always helps me with the "striving for perfection" idea or pull within myself and without in our society. God is perfect in every way. I am not!! His work in my life and the grace I find to parent well especially when things are difficult, are the very real things that help me rest in my imperfection and allow me to ask forgiveness for the times I mess up.
I am a work in progress and his Jesus' hands he is transforming me. Being a mother is a work in progress. God is transforming me especially in and through my parenting. In that place where our vulnerability ; dreams and hopes collide with reality - that place called parenting - well, it is in the middle of all this that I find God at work most. He is fashioning patience and crafting selflessness in ME. He is showing me where my pride is and revealing those hidden idols. Being a parent in Gods gracious hands is a revealing work of art. Parenting exposes my sinful , imperfect heart and if I am honest with God , he can get to work.
The journey of motherhood for me has been one of unshackling and discovering exactly what it is that I am as a woman and mother ; in this family under the circumstances we are living in and given all that we have and are. I have read many a parenting book on "How to get it.... well just perfect".... and frankly they really are of little help in the midst of real life with sinful children and a sinful mother. Lets add in a dash of ADHD and I very quickly found these sorts of books fairly irrelevant. However, there are helpful , insightful books which can give wisdom and good advice - perhaps just find the one that fits your personality and your family.:)
So, are you a "good enough" mom ?
It is a great question to ask and to find the answer too. I really want to be just good enough!!!
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