When Fear Rules

Today I paid a rather stressful visit to our doctor. It was one of those " I really need to go" Visits and not because one of the boys was deathly ill.  We have a really great doctor who is generous with her time and her fees. No, the reason we went off to the doctor at the terrible hour of 4.30 in the afternoon, was because one of our sons has this strange, persistent rash on his body. Going to the doctor at 4.30 with kids is one of my worst nightmares. Total chaos reigns and no matter how fiercely I scowl or glare at them, they carry on regardless. The pitch of their noise and giddy out of control laughter getting louder and louder so that in the end absolutely nothing of what the doctor is saying concerning the odd, said rash is understood by me. The doctor, sensing my anxiety , reaches across with the name of the odd rash scribbled down for me. :)

But this is not what this blog is about. Actually , the rash has prompted me to write a little on our son and anxiety. The rash seems to be one that as a result of a virus, the body is now fighting itself?? Auto-immune they call these things now days. On reflection this makes perfect sense.  This little boy is in the middle of some play therapy sessions with a great, local play therapist.  We decided to take him to see her and get some help because for a long while now - about the last 3 years, he has been groaning increasingly more and more unsure and afraid; in fact down right petrified and debilitation so of new things and new situations and anything new. There are a whole host of reasons that we figured out he has this anxiety but the understanding the cause does not neccesarily help with the solution.

So, we / he has embarked on his first emotional therapy so to speak and it is thus no surprise to me that his little body has decided to react in this way. The outward evidence of the inner work.

The play therapist is a lovely, loving christian woman who is kind and honest and sincere and our son loves going to her. She has been working now for 4 weeks and we have 2 weeks left to go. She does not believe in long drawn out times of months with her and she is reasonably priced. Immediately our little man showed signs of relief and freedom after the very first time with her. it was as if he was so releived that we the adults in his life had drawn along side him and in acknowledging his struggle with fear and anxiety , he felt supported and safe. I imagine that his struggle might be a life long one and knowing myself I am not entirely surprised. He is an extrovert and emotional little creative man and so he will need to learn to be in charge of his fears and rule them rather than letting them rule him. The therapist is working to this end too so we are thrilled.

And then there is Jesus of course. Beautiful and real and at work in my the mom and in him the boy. We pray that this little man will go from strength to strength and really live without fear knowing truly that God has planned his life and is fashioning his pathway.

I hope this blog might encourage someone who might need to take their little one to a play therapist to take that step. Find a good one and go for it. it can only but help!!

The Risen Lord Jesus

It was pure joy going to study the bible yesterday. I have not been with a bunch of other women around God's word for quite some time now. I was like a horse heading home.

Beth Moore is the choice and Beloved is the series.

It was a great study on Revelation 1 . One of the more difficult parts of the bible and yet it begins with a magnificent description of the risen Lord Jesus who comes to his beloved disciple John. By now John is an old man and yet he is full of expectation and still, still living for God. Jesus  reveals himself to John. Although John knows Jesus well... I mean they slept, eat and worked together before he died, John can not believe his eyes and is entirely unable to utter a word. Before him, in all his glory , stands Jesus . The mighty and powerful ruler of the universe. And with such tenderness and kindness he reaches out to reassure John  before he gives him his job. Write this down!!

I am no Beth and so doubt very much I could even begin to capture in words here, for you, the picture of Jesus here shown to us in Revelation. The glorious death conquering King  returns with words of comfort and assurance and warning for the 7 churches. And John obediently writes. So we have the book of Revelation.

So much came out of the study for us all and for me in particular. But the big theme that I left with is. Jesus please let me see you as I go about my day. In the small and big things. You are here and you are mighty and kind. I really want to see and love you - help me be obedient to you so that you are seen by others. The risen Jesus described in this chapter is someone so wonderful and scary that even John could not do anything, could not say anything but to fall on his face before him. Please that I may have that picture of who you are so that I can rightly worship you and live for you here. One day I too shall see this Jesus face to face and if you are a christian today, so will you. He is beyond our understanding in his glory and yet he is kind enough to reveal that which we can behold.

I leave this with you. Go and read Revelation for yourself and taste and see this Jesus for yourself.