There is a Teenager in the House.

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We have a teenager in the house. 

These words scared me in the past but now, as we stand on the edge of these years with our first son, I feel quite excited about  the journey. 

One of the reasons for this is information. There is a wealth of information about teenagers and as I have started to read a selected, recommended few books, I have found myself really beginning to embrace this special time. 

I am sure this will not be the last time I write about 'The Teen Years" and I am under no illusion that a "recipe" approach to them will ensure that all goes smoothly. But having said that I think one of the key things that struck me so far is about my approach or my attitude toward what may or may not lie ahead. Our society has a very negative attitude towards teens and towards adolescence in general and it is true to say I have already heard things like " Just wait until those teenage years" and other such comments.   Paul David Tripp in his book 'Age of Opportunity" spends a great deal of time trying to shift this negative approach as is indicated by the very title of this good book.

Here is an extract... " There are 3 fundamental doors 0f opportunity that every teenage parent can walk through. Each of these problems becomes a means of helping the teenager to internalize the truths which he has been exposed to for years. The problems of teenage insecurity, teenage rebellion and the teenagers widening wield are actually God's doors of opportunity where parents have a unique access to the central issues in their teens life"  Page 23.

The second exciting thing that we have decided upon as a family, is to read a book about becoming a teen with our son. This was a great suggestion from one who has gone ahead of us. We have been reading James Dobsons excellent book called " Preparing for Adolescence". It is practical, honest and very insightful. In a way it is preparing me and our son , together as we read and chat through some of the key ideas

I am forever grateful for being a Christian Parent. Not only do we have real hope to offer in the gospel but we have a very real and loving God who is at work in us and in our children. We operator in the framework of a much bigger than ourselves, picture . Armed with wisdom and real, Godly council we can embrace the time called Adolescence and enjoy the growing adult' child. 

Thanks be to God!!

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The New teacher

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The new year has dawned and school has begun for some of us already but for those who live in the coastal areas of South Africa, we all start school tomorrow. I dont know how your school does the whole , ' new teacher thing" but at our school we find out who our child's teacher is, via the school web site and only on the day before school starts. That all happened at 9 o'clock this morning and the frenzy of who else is in the same class as your kid has all just died down.

For some of us we are thrilled because we know the teacher already and we like what we know and we have friends for our child in the class but for others it seems not to be such a great picture. Perhaps the teacher is not the one we like or get along with and perhaps our child has no real, good friend in site. The year might stretch ahead, seemingly bleak and long.

We feel so out of control at these times. We feel so sad for our children, quite sure of the way things will turn out and quite certain that the year will turn out bleak and difficult. I have stood in this place before. I think there are many reasons why we feels so strongly about the 'righ't teacher and some good friends for the year. The teacher has a profound influence on a child's life and the things they do and say may echo into a persons life forever. Being a lone at school during class time is not great and while your friends get to build good friendships IN class, you seem to be out and alone.

I like to see these times as opportunities despite the challenges.  I hope that my child , without a friend might see this as a new chance to make some new friends. Being in a new group of children can be tough and a real struggle. These times can be a place for real personal growth in the struggle to fit in. I dont for one moment think this is easy . I am challenged of my response to these difficult struggles my child might have. I hope that I might reflect my faith in what God is doing in the here and now and in so doing help my child grow for himself a real and lasting , truly strong trust in Jesus.

I am challenged by these issues in our own family and as we stand on the cusp of this new school year, I am reminded of the things we believe as Christians.   Mainly, God is sovereign and in control of all things and in ALL things he is at work for our good and his glory. He loves us and is working out his redemptive purposes in our lives and in and through our children. So when we are faced with a seemingly difficult road ahead we need to be reminded that these truths hold fast and that we must stand up under them. God is working out his plan in our child's life for his/her good and God's glory. The opportunity here is to reflect that back to the child and so that they too have the chance to grow in faith and hope and trust as they step up under God's plan and purpose. We have a chance to reflect scripture to our children and live it out in our hopes and dreams for the year, even when they seem not to be what we planned or think are good.

My prayer for myself and others is that this year might be a year of deepening trust and faith as we press on to the goal which is ours in Christ Jesus.

The beauty of great Photography

 Each new year we go down to the local second hand book shop and buys up a pile of National Geographic magazines for the small amount of just R2. I do this simply for the beautiful photographs inside and of course the great stories, but my purpose in buying them at this time of year is purely so the boys can choose and stick something interesting on the front of their books. Dont get me wrong I love surfing pics and motor bike pics and the like but I just like that they have something other, something interesting stuck onto their book. I like to stretch them a bit away from the usual towards the unusual. They in turn have really got into this whole process and enjoy choosing the right photograph for the right book.

Last night I sat and went through the magazines and took out some pictures that might be suitable. I found myself, once again, being so thrilled and inspired by the absolutely fabulous photographs used in the stories. The story of Glass in one had to remain in the book ( a great project or oral subject) and then there was the history of cowboy painting or art. This article and the supporting photographs and drawings just blew my mind. The story of Russia and Moscow in particular was full of extraordinary Photographs of beautiful buildings and ice caked trees. The photographs from every day life Naples pull at me to visit and the photographs of life in remote and sad places  caused me to remind myself that life for many, many people is all toil and hardship and that The Other on this planet is in need.

Of course the book and magazine is a dying thing in the new more modern world of technology and on line sites. So check out this site for some excellent photographs and stories.

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/


I Find myself caught between the love of the computer and all that it offers ( well not all but you know what I mean), and that sad place where we have said goodbye to things like photo albums to hand around at a diner party ( which we did recently from our trip to South America so long ago now. We landed up having a great time sharing and chatting and I realised later on that we have lost a lot in the gaining of much).  So I am one of those who am saddened that one day I wont be able to go down to the local second hand book shop and buy up old National Geographic to page through and to ponder.

Little boys are made of slugs and snails and puppy dog tails

Today is Jethro's 7th birthday. He had his little list of things he might like to get as a gift and of course 'lego' or rather our new version of lego called OXFORD - check out brickland.co.za for more info- was on the list. He requested The Rocket Launcher. Can you just hear the boy thing expressed in the very name of the thing. 

It is holidays and so each night they children seem to get to be latter and latter. By 8 this morning Jethro was still not awake and then finally I heard his little footsteps trotting through. It is a strange thing but I can actually hear which son is coming along the passage by their different footsteps.  Our floors are wooden and so the tiny , quick thud thud announced Jet was up. Teddy was up too. Teddy has been Jethro's constant companion for 7 years. He was a gift from His God Parents and has been the best gift by far, ever. Teddy needs some serious repair and Jethro keeps asking me to fix him but the simply truth is, I dont think I can. His fluff is long gone and he is worn through in many parts. I dont think he was made to be carried every where from school fields to sandpits to the beach and Natal trips and Jo burg and back - everyday and always. We all love teddy but Jethro loves him the very best.

Jethro is a very interesting child. He is full of fun and as you can see from this Pirate picture, he can really get into character but similarly he can also stubbornly choose to dig his heels in. At these times it is extremely tough and I might even say impossible to shift him. No amount of trying to bend his iron will can succeed and if there is any break through, it is purely because he has decided. on his own, to let go. His darling of a teacher called him quirky and indeed he is. The thing about being stubborn is this - no one can force you to do something you just dont wanna do - as in fact he has told be several times. My reply is " my boy the things inside you that make you you I can not force and dont want to but there are some things we need to do and there I can make you ( like going somewhere). Many tears and shouts have been had on this one:) My out of home motto in these situations is ... Just smile and wave boys, smile and wave.

Life with Jethro is interesting, full, unpredictable, never dull, often noisy , insanely creative and filled with interaction and conversation. :) I love it.

Food - Jethro's less favourite thing. Of all the people in our family, Jethro has the smallest repertoire of food that he will eat. He will sometimes try new foodstuffs but maintaining a constant healthy diet for him is tough. I sometimes think he has grown purely on fresh air which obviously is not possible so perhaps he has a secret stash of whatever it is he actually eats hidden in his cupboard. He loves chicken pie and so that is hi birthday meal for today. I am always happy to cook for him and when he eats it is a joy.  Feed me if you dare is his inner motto, I am sure of it. Perhaps it is just 'No'. I have two friends who managed to add something healthy to his food group of 5 things. It was like sweet music to my ears. The interesting thing is he hates all sweets except for a select few and only eats smarties.

Whiskers is his new pal and he loves to hold and play with this little wildling.  Jethro has always liked creatures from insects through to large wildlife. He knows the strangest things about some creatures and trots out the information as if it is just the sorts of things that we all know. Jethro loves to make things and will sit for a great deal of time doing something on his own. He has always been like this - this is just who he is. Like this christmas bug he made on Christmas eve from all the sparkling things at the table. Other times he is bored and can find absolutely nothing to do.  We absolutely love having this little man  to share our space and our lives with. We pray that God will be his constant companion throughout his life and that Jethro will learn to depend upon Jesus for all his needs . Thank you Lord for this boy.

The Wounded Heart

Holidays are great. They allow some time to spend with family and friends. This holiday I have done some good, solid, continuous reading. Being the mother of four, busy boys makes reading a whole book, quickly, almost impossible. 

I have read nearly two whole books this holiday and they have both been really helpful. These are not the sort of books one might read quickly because the content is light and fluffy. Quite the contrary. The first book I read is the one that has been very deep and meaningful on a personal level. It is a book called The Wounded Heart by Dr. Dan Allender.  I first came across this book while listening to focus on the family. Dan was the guest and he was speaking on a topic we dont like to speak about in or out of Christian circles.  It is the topic of childhood sexual abuse. 

After hearing Dan talk about this topic on a very deep and thoughtful level, I decided I would like to read it. 

This was the book that I read from cover to cover in less than two weeks. 

If you or someone you know was sexually abused as a child, then this is a very helpful, honest and soul searching book to offer. What makes this book stand out from all the rest? I think it is realistic and honest about the persons emotional and soul situation because of the deep and traumatic effects of childhood violation and in addition it draws the very clear and real lines through to adulthood, where the person is in a very real way still suffering . Dan goes on to relate the patterns of surviving childhood abuse which were obviously helpful and necessary in childhood but which are harmful to relationships in adulthood. The adult survivor struggles with his/her relathionship with God primarily and others . But, he does not only leave it at that but he goes on to provide some good, christian solutions and hope for any adult who is longing to be set free from the bondage and ravages of a childhood where sexual abuse destroyed and damaged. There are many  more gems that the author holds out to the reader. He writes with passion and care and a deep and real understanding of the issues.

I whole heartedly recommend this book for anyone who desires to grow as an adult in his or her relathionship with our heavenly father and with those who love him/her. There is hope for the wounded heart.

Bravely, tenderly travel where many fear to tread and where most can not understand and He who is above all things will travel with you and hold your hand for he is kind and compassionate and loves you so. 

Celebrating Christmas Falconer Style

 This Christmas someone put on Face Book this lovely idea. Here is our version of the idea and it was a real joy to make 2 more for 2 great friends. Thanks Pintrest!!

 The boys had fun decorating the black board walls.

 My mom came and share christmas with us. A treat!

 This is Christmas eve. We were invited to share in the family fun with some friends. Hannah, our God daughter shared a photo with us. Beautiful!!

 Doug's cousin Geoff and Carolyn and kids came on Christmas day. Another highlight. I unfortunately took way too few pics.This funny one of Geoff after he had been decorated with streamers which we had in the place of crackers:) nice.

 My brother and his boys traveled from Joburg and shared some fab time with us.

 There were boys everywhere and the lounge was a big body count at night. Great fun!!

Alan and his sons. Just lovely!! It is always sad to say goodbye to those we love and that live so far away>

'It's a Pirates life for me"

This Christmas has been especially wonderful because we spent time with so many people who we love and miss. There were several highlights . This post is about one. We left Cape Town and joined some of our family in Natal at Sheffield. They have a wonderful beach house there and regularly share their space and time with us. it is glorious and restful. A real hide away from the world spot.

 This year my dad, the boys granddad, decided to make a movie. The Sheffield home was to be a daily training camp for Pirates and each day there we some things the boys had to do.

 It was very special. My dad really went to town. He made wanted posters and real Pirate food with Lynette's great maggot' noodle' idea. This was a meal to be eaten by hands and shared with some rum:)

 The beach fire was fab. The boys helepd make the fire and then received their pirate outfits including swords and earings. What a laugh. Jethro and Sam got fully into it even threatening the dog with its life.

 All the while Grandpa Marsh was filming. He planned to put a movie together with music and all. On the second last night we gathered to watch it. An absolute delight and a gem to have for keeps. Thanks Dad. your a great grandad and the boys will cherish this memory for ever.

 I just love this one. A pirate lies dying on the sand.

 I am mean and crusty.

 Last but not least the Pirates gathered on the beach to find a bottle with a map inside. They set off to find the buried treasure.

 Got it!!

This was the best Pirate fun ever and each child, no matter their age, had fun and will remember this holiday forever.