I am alive cause you're alive

Reflecting and threading back so that I can move forward in freedom

Childhood  is a beautiful time in many, many ways. It is a time of growing and learning and testing and finding. 

But, for many childhood is a time when some happening or something was done that has rendered that persons childhood broken.

The efects into adulthood, for some people can be devastating and quite cruel. it is as if someone knitted a pathway of pain, hurt and struggle into the very working of the brain and so certain actions, emotions and outworking of behaviour and feelings are set. It is a bit like knitting a beutiful jersey and upon completion, only to find that there are a string of dropped stitches all through the it. Such is the effect of chilhood apun adulthood. 

Adults live this life with part of their childhood present with them.The part of who they are grown out of childhood can be beautiful and firmly rooted. It can also be a very tough and difficult journey for others who might come from painful, broken and dis functional families.

I have been deeply struck this week by the reality that no matter what ruin our childhood has built into us, Jesus Christ can set us free.

If we come to know and trust the one who has made us and called us. The one who knows every detail of our childhood story, intimately, even better than we can recall. The one who holds all things together and is totally and completely in control over all things - Jesus - he is the very person who can take our broken childhoods and reshape them ; reclaim them and redirect them  for his glory. If we know Jesus and trust him , well then we are free indeed. He has set us free . 

A Music Concert that stole a Heart

This weekend was all about watching a show. This was strange because we really hardly ever do go to a show. It is not that I dont like watching music or comedy well  guess time seems to just slip by. 

So it was with great excitement that Doug and I firstly attended the Trevor Noah Comedy show at The Baxter on Saturday. What a laugh it was.

But this is not a post about him or his show. No, quite the opposite really......

To begin I need to rewind a bit . Actually I need to rewind almost 7 years ago. I was heavily pregnant with Jethro and so was a woman I had met at a friends, Michelle. Our babies were due at the same time in early January. I remember us meeting on New years Eve and having a chat about the up coming births. Jethro was our fourth child and Kevin their third so we both knew what was in store for us.

Little did anyone knew, but God, that Kevin was and is Down Syndrome!

Kevin was born the day after Jet and I remember hearing the news from that same friend.I did not know then but Michelle's path and mine were to become quite entwined and over these years we have become good friends. She is a Christean woman who God is clearly using to display his Glory in and through.But that is another story and not mine to tell......

However , Kevin lead us all to Sunday evening. 

Kevin, a delightful little boy who takes enormous pleasure in visiting our home and unpacking the National Geo Mags or the DVD . He knows where the TV is and heads straight for it, like a horse heading home. He is a beautiful child with a delightful smile. He is purposeful and determined which must be from his mom who has been both purposeful and determined in here journey with him.

On Sunday night we had the joy and great pleasure of visiting the Cape Town City Hall. We were to be entertained by some School Choirs including Hertzlia, Bergvliet Primary, Westcott and Sweet Valley and the grade 8 Marimba Band from Springfield Convent. All of these performances were excellent but the one that stole the heart on so many levels were the dance and song from Gledbridge special needs school. This is the school that Kevin will be attending and Michelle put together an awesome fundraiser for that school. Broken children who some might thing have no place in society nor and hope, stood proudly if not a little afraid , on that stage and sang or danced their hearts out. It was beautifully moving. The message was one of hope and purpose as this school makes a way for these children.

I tried to take time with each face as they sang. I thought about their parents sitting and watching. It was a very, very emotional evening. Individuals made in God's image , living with obvious brokenness and yet living with purpose.

Trevor Noah's slick performance was great and very entertaining and yes he has a purpose too as he jokes around - I guess he wants to reflect back to us some of the stupidity in our thinking and actions

and yet this concert that was not slick and full of strobe lighting was full of love and kindness . it brought schools together around a common purpose and through music we were able to bridge the gap. Well done Michelle and all who participated. 

Just a note : Annie Cadman painted two beautiful paintings that were on auction. Check out Face Book and Annie Cadman for more information.

It was great to have the Western Cape Education Minister at the concert and his short speech was helpful as well as principals and other important people. 

Lastly, the City hall is a very beautiful Building - but thats for another post :)

The right tools for the job

I am fairly exact about using the correct tool for the right job. In our home fabric scissors are for fabric (only or you will be threatened with near death:)) ; bread boards are for bread and non stick pans only get used with soft utensils.

The thing is I write here in jest because in reality  we cut other things on the bread board too and we have scratched the non stick pan ( only the fabric scissors rule still stands) . It helps to have the right tool for a job and makes it easier to work. Doug is a keen maker of things and he is good at it. I know his work is made easier by having good, solid tools that work well and fit the job.

In the same way I need many tools in this life. I also find that  I need the tools to tell someone about who Jesus is and what he has done for us. I need to at the very least have thought through some ideas in my own mind that I could share with someone who asks me about my faith in him.

And so it is with our kids. 

The boys have some friends at school who are decided atheists and talk about this a little.  We had been praying for these kids and mainly for an opportunity for our boys to share something of what they believe too. We gathered around the computer and walked through Two Ways to Live.

two ways to live : : the choice we all face

Here is the link if yu would like to check it out. Two Ways to Live provides a great gospel explanation in a very simple and clear way. Tools for me and also for my children to have if and when they need them. 

As we gathered around and shared each page then our two youngest who always say " I dont think I am a christian" recommitted their lives to Jesus. - again. Too precious!!

window into the world

Yesterday I actually sat down with a cup of tea to watch or rather listen as the kids enjoyed the sunny day in the pool. We had been given a pack of goodies at school of which 2 were magazines. I never really buy magazines especially the two in the pack. So for a change they came with me. One was Oprah O and the other Marie Claire. Two very different magazines. 

If you read my blog you will know by now that I usually write about Jesus. Before Jesus, in my early twenties, I would have devoured such magazines. Pouring over them and gathering new ideas and information on how to live my life more fully. But now that I know Jesus, a very different compass sets my path and my thinking. The Bible , living and true is the thinking that has shaped and defined my thinking and thus my actions for the past 25 years. God has transformed every true Chrisitans thinking through his spirit and by his word, The Bible.

With this in mind, it was very interesting to read these 2 magazines. What struck me was that in a very real way O and marie Claire are a window onto the way the world ,without Jesus, thinks.  O is fully of self this and self that. The I at the center of the world. On just about every page there is some article or letter or bit of wisdom on how I can love myself more and be more fulfilled. ( I  dont know about you but I need less of me in my life and more of what God wants and more of thinking about others)

Similarly the fashion mag focused on what is hot and new in the world of beauty. They at least had one good article on photography and poverty - Poverty Porn is the title.

Having read these two beautifully put together Magazines I have come to the conclusion that magazines give us a very brief window into the predominant thinking of our day. If you would like to catch up and see what many, many people think and are motivated to do , why not read the latest Magazine.

Enlightening even if not interesting.

 

The God of Love

I am proud to be called your father

I know you can be a great woman of God

I love you!!

Words that a father has repeated to a child 

each evening as he tucks in the blanket

and plants that kiss on an expectant forehead.

Sweet words to the listening ear

Abba.

Daddy.

I call out to you

and you are there for me

me...

again and again.

Like a little girl

full

full of expectation and hope

and you dp not disappoint me

You are so faithful and true

so honest and real

you who formed the universe and each twinkling star

you spoke it all into being

and yet you call ,...

even me

Abba.

Daddy.

Thank you

for holding me so close and answering my prayers

thank you for loving me

with a never stopping kind of love

for never , never, not for one single second

thank you for never giving up 

and loving me despite 

me

and I too want to look into yours eyes one day and say

Jesus.....

we made it

you and I

Bible Study -rich and glorious and full with hair talk

For those women who have had the opportunity to study the bible with Beth Moore , you will totally understand when I say one word...." hair". She has the most amazing hairstyles ever especially since her dvd series  span the decades.  In her latest version of Breaking Free she describes how as a little girl she would pull fists full of hair out of her head as she wrestled with anxiety. After this I decided to cut her some slack on the hair front.

I have been fortunate enough to do a few Beth Moore bible studies and am right in the very middle of her first one, the one that launched her bible teaching , Breaking Free. As prepare for the meeting we have  with a great bunch of women who love Jesus, I  am struck again by the rich way Beth brings God's word alive. I know her style is not everyone's cup of tea, and that is fine. But , for me, Beth has a unique, God given gift to encourage those who study with her to really long for Jesus and to see him as he is in all his glory. She is so careful to point us to God through Jesus and his word. I love this about her. She just loves the Bible and encourages us to get really into the word so that God can work. Breaking Free is by far her favourite for me and I am truly blessed to be studying with Beth Moore again:)

The kid who has it all... at home.

Today I noticed a strange phenomenon which once I started thinking about it, made sense.  

Technology is our friend in general. As are all the fun games and activities that children can have to enjoy at home. 

The problem is, that if your home has all that opens and shuts, especially in the area of technology... every new thing.... i pad, iPod, play station next, Wii and and and, well then another persons home can be , should I say it, quite boring if they dont have all the latest stuff.

 I have been experiencing this with some play dates especially during the week when we are fairly strict about no computer game time.

 Where there is a problem I will try and find a solution. So we played other kinds of games ... card games and board games..... we baked and painted and looked for bugs and birds. we played in the sand. 

I was forced to put my thinking cap on and gather up all those fun things we have not really done for a while. This was unexpected and I really did not feel up to the task but with a bit of thought some simple things came to mind. 

 I still wonder if having every new computer gismo in the home is really helpful or healthy after all. Perhaps it means well have to continue to be imaginative and creative so that visitors have fun or perhaps the visitor will just have to be plain old bored. Dont get me wrong, I have one little man who has 'bored' as his middle name so I am well familiar with this concept. I guess I just want other peoples children to have fun with us so that they come back. Older kids are easier to entice because they are usually hungry and so good , simple food will do the trick and make them happy but for the more younger child  who has not quite grasped the idea of' thinking through what to do together ' , it can be a problem. Perhaps it will just have to be 'I am bored' for those who dont like anything we have to offer.

Oh dear. I guess every problem can not be solved.

The journey to 13

Our boys all celebrate their birthdays starting on the 1st December , which happens to be World Aids Day, and then on into January and 2 in Feb. Chiff Chaff and it is all over. Next year , however, we celebrate with James and he turns 13.

Doug and I have been thinking a great deal how we would like to celebrate this birthday with James. We feel that turning 13 is a very precious birthday and it is a time that we would like to use as a point in his life where he can look back and remember something of the beginning point of the journey into adolescence and ultimately manhood.

We have some idea about how we would like to mark this birthday our as especially significant for him and also for us.

As part of this process we have asked others who have gone before us about their ideas . Their have been some great ideas which we would perhaps want to use and tweek to suit our situation. One man we spoke to had a whole year full of boy/man things he was busy executing with his son. He shared some of his fabulous and adventurous ideas with us and as he spoke we both began to feel , well, really less as parents because we had not and can not even begin to fill up the year with such marvelous things for our special boy.

So my mind begins to swim with questions and run free with anxiety. Are we doing enough to mark this boys coming of age. We dont have the resources or the support that this man has and we have 4 boys all vying for Doug's attention while he has one. Our situation and circumstances are quite different.  As I reflect calmly on what was shared and how to respond, I have settled on this.....

God has given us all we need  including all we need to raise each of our boys with a sure knowledge of Jesus. God is at work in James and God wants a relathionship with him through Jesus. The greatest gift we can give this young man is a safe and loving home - a place where he can grow , share, try and fail, explore ideas and take ownership of his faith for himself. 

The second thing I settled on was this. A walk with Dad where good things are shared together is just as rich in blessing and significance than all the things money can buy. A game of squash  or help with a school project where ideas are shared carried much weight in preciousness as an expensive trip to somewhere. 

As we begin to set in motion some precious planned times with Doug and James and as we begin to plan for James his passing from one stage into another , we do so with joy and gladness for Jesus has given us all we already need to do this well.

and so the matter is settled.....

History made alive at The Distict 6 Museum

Yesterday I took the boys to visit the Distict 6 Museum. 

We joined a friend and her children and wondered through the exhibits of days gone by. This is a museum of rich history and great pain. It is also a museum that speaks of hope . It is a voice, a small voice, for some of those who suffered at the iron fist of the Apartheid Government. It is a place for our children and our childrens children to learn of our past so that they might not forget and more than that, that these kinds of wickedness might be exposed and seen for what they were and are. District 6 is one of the places in South Africa where people were forcibly removed in 1960. 

The museum sets about explaining that story.

So we wandered and talked and read - there is a lot to read- of the busy business streets where people worked in the hustle and bustle of all that work offers. This was a very rich community with a diverse rich culture. We read about the gangs that operated, even then in the residential areas. Set on harm and fighting each other. We saw countless, worn and preserved photograph , set in their time and telling a story. Beautifully rich black and white photos of real people in a very real place. We saw the barber and hairdressers ; the washer house with its piles of laundry ; the music halls and more. 

The people who lived near to their work were forced to move many, many km from there work. There was no working transport system for them to get to work after they had been moved, and so for many people, they lost their livelihood and /or had to spend most of their budget on getting to and from work. Most did not own a car or bike. One swift, harsh swirl of a pen on paper, set into motion a law that destroyed peoples lives. 

As we walked through this beautiful old church, we talked to the children, trying to give them somehow a glimpse of times gone by. For my friend, this was a very real walk, for it was her family that had experienced the forced removals under the Group Areas Act and so it was her past we were 'looking' at.  

The museum is very beautifully put together and I loved the artistic flair  of the place. Over tea we sat and chatted about our country. It was a good chat and an encouragement to me. I said these words to her...." I really can't quite get a grasp on this part of history yet. I wish I knew more. Not having grown up here I don't know much of the history. WE were NEVER taught this at school.  to which she replied," Neither were we my friend, neither were we." so, we set out together to learn and share. we did not cry this time as we have before, over this sad and tormented past that lives today in the lives of those we might pass in the street ; meet as we shop and even know personally. Apartheid is gone but the wounds are carried. I am glad for museums where the story can be told. 

We ended our visit and stepped out into the bright sun. Back into the real world and back to our busy lives. But a part of the story from the museum walked with us as we talked and read some more about Distict 6.

Were having a sleep over!

Our boys all love having a sleep over.

It is enormously exciting when we say the "yes" word. 

As I write this I am listening to the loud , fun imaginary play game escaping the lounge. 

Aaah, yes, the lounge is the place we generally have our sleepovers. We have extra mattress that have been so pulled and pushed and carried. They are Futon mattresses and we had them when the boys needed a first bed. They were pricey at the time and came with a long list of 'how to care for your Futon'. These have long since been forgotten and abandoned.

All our boys really really love having a sleepover.

Having said that , being individuals, they each like them in a slight different way. One might like to sleep out ; another in ; one might like to have two friends and have a sleepover that lasts a life time. 

So, we make a giant sleeping den in the lounge and they snuggle down to sleep.

as if......

Their is usually so much excitement and energy that sleep goes off to find some other more responsive children.

I am a mom who generally operates on slightly too little sleep and so I love an early night. I really dont like kids up all night bouncing around and being crazy and so our sleep overs generally dont afford this. :)

I think the best part of the sleepover for them is the waking up- right next to a friend - and then the fun begins.

The thing I love about hosting a sleepover is the great conversations that come from these opportunities. Around meals and while playing a game or just hanging out. It is a great time to really connect with the newer generations and "see" how they tick. It is great fun.

The difficulty around sleepovers is , dare I say it, who to allow and who not to. People often ask me this question and there are very real and obvious fears around allowing our child to go sleep over at someone else house.

We have generally only allowed our boys to sleep over with friends who are good, close family friends. This is the rule, for us, especially for the little ones. - (6 and 8) . The really problem of being asked by people we dont know has only really cropped up as the boys have grown older. It can be tricky saying no. We have had to say no because we dont know people well. I think for our boys, who we talk things through a great deal with, this affords us another chance to chat about all the length and breath issues in life. ( not all at once)

:)

Any advice I would give is to say  - go for the sleep over AND stick to your guns as far as saying no when no is appropriate.

They are great fun and although they are hard work some great relationship building is being done on all fronts. 

Sleepovers are well worth it.If you have not yet, join the fun.

 *

(A Plea - Being safe - I have to say a word about safety. To do this I will tell you of a conversation I had with someone once. It was a mother and it was about sleepovers. This mom, had never even considered that a sleepover  may be something that could put her child in danger and so consequently allowed her child to sleep over anywhere. It surprised  me that she had not thought through even one possibility- I can think of many which do not even include the worst case scenario. In my shock I did drop in a few seeds for her to ponder and I trully hope she did. Just because people live  near you, work next to you and go to the same schools as your kids - just because they "look" the same does not mean they are the same as you . People hold very different beliefs and ideas about what keeping kids safe looks like.

An example is .... do the host parents go our while your child is sleeping over leaving the kids with a babysitter ? Are you ok with this? Thinking through the things we would allow with our kids is one way to help set the bar for sleepovers with others. I always inform the parents of the child sleeping over if we are going to be taking them out to a movie or another persons house for dinner etc - asking permission)

What is Science all about after all?

Today was the first day of this short weeks holiday. I am not too sure who decides how long and when our school holidays are exactly but I am pretty sure that it is someone who does not actually have children at school. So, we are given a week to rest up before the last hectic term hurtles towards up. Needles to say, we are making the best of it.  

Today we set off bright and early to the Science Center.   This was a project funded and supported by MTN in the past which meant that their center of science was situated in a shopping center in the middle of suburbia. Now that MTN withdrew their financial support the science center was forced to close down. We were extremely saddened by this move.

The new Cape Town Science Center has opened its doors. You can find it on Main Road in Observatory. It has a trendy address and a far better location in my opinion. Now children from all over Cape Town can access the center with ease. The new premises are bright and big and have potential for growth and development. 

Much of the same science 'stuff' has traveled from the old to the new. So we had fun with the building materials ; the kinetic music maker ; the brain wave measure r; the train ; wave simulator; multi mirror triangle and much , much more.

The great thing about the science center is that it caters for all ages. We can visit it as a family and there is something for all of the children. The center also has workshops that it runs which are free.

While we visited London a few years ago, we visited the Natural History Museum. They have a science floor which is quite spectacular. I remember taking James and Thomas there when they were just 4 and 2 and we had a great deal of fun. Our local Science center is nothing quite like that. We dont have the funds for it. But it is good. The children have a great deal that they can learn about what science is and there are loads of fun things to stretch those brain muscles. I loved the fact that today lots of children were enjoying the center who were obviously from disadvantaged backgrounds.

We often hear via the media that South Africa really desperately needs to up our Science and Maths school marks. Well, I think that the Science Center is contributing in a healthy way to the attitude of children towards Science. 

The Cape Town Science Center Rocks!