The ADHD treatment wheel - Model 4 LADD

This module is all about the treatment of ADHD. lets face it, if we have an ADHD family, we are desperate for help on the treatment side. We might even have spent hours upon hours researching the many promises of curing ADHD but as Dave Pughe-Parry rightly reminds us, there is no cure. 

BUT....

We can treat ADHD !!

Dave has used the multi-disciplinary approach to treating ADHD which he explains using a wheel. 

Dave places his treatment wheel firmly on the foundation of unconditional love. The very act of loving our ADHD children ( and of course all our children) says that we love them but not the behaviour. that we take time out to praise the child's efforts. That we set real and inspiring goals for them and not unrealistic mountains of" what can you do next time " - thus squashing the life out of the ADHD child bu the overwhelming and unattainable. This was very compelling for me as a mom of 3 ADHD children and a husband who is ADHD.  

The treatment wheel includes 8 areas which can support and grow the ADHD child and indeed adults. 

Dave stresses that these areas , when used simultaneously, hold the best outcome for the child or adult.

Calm, thoughtful research is essential, according to Dave, and I would agree with this outlook. It is a good idea , when faced with the ADHD diagnoses, to keep a level head. 

The Multi-Disciplinary approach in this module are very helpful indeed.

These include both tried and tested treatments and those that work for all ADHD people as well as some what things work for some folks. Dave also includes the new treatments.

I love that he speaks of treatment rather than a cure. It makes no sense to me to try and " cure"  rather than treat it, especially when such good and helpful treatment exists.  

The big message in this module follows the thinking that it is helpful and works best for the ADHD child,  when a number of treatments are used together rather than just one. Dave emphasises the point that there is no cure and / or no magic one treatment that "fixes" everything for the child. I think this is spot on. 

Our ADHD children both take medication to manage their impulsivity and then, especially the one, uses excercise and sport as a great way to help him manage his restlessness and energy levels. We have used OT. Pragmatic life style and family involvment are really key for us. How we ALL interact with the child when he struggles with his ADHD is so important. 

The effective managment system includes the following......

1. medication

2. exercises

3. coaching

4. focus on the persons strengths

5. track record of success

6.OT - sensory imput lessening

7. pragmatic life style - diet / sleep

8. family involvment

The module goes into depth on each of these points of a whole treatment of a child who is ADHD.

The indepth information on each of these is very helpful and informative. It really gets one thinking. I was challeneged by the sensory imput section.  Our ADHD children both have hectic sensory issues and struggle with clothing, teeth, food , noise, large groups etc.

Do ADHD people ALL have low self esteem as Dave suggests? Another thought provoking point. 

I was pleased to see that Dave called ADHD a family affair. I have always called us an ADHD family. ADHD does effect ALL of us and including the broader family. They do not always understand the ADHD child and react in strange and unhelpful ways towards them. It is extrmemely helpful having the extended family on the same page.

Excercise - not all types of excercise help ADHD children. Dave gives a very helpful list  to choose from.

Team sport might not be successful all ADHD children. We have found that hockey, squash and tennis have been winners for our teen but for out younger child, we are still trying to discover the sport that speaks to him. The tricky thing is the waiting and being bored in learning of a sport that needs to be negotiated!!

Thanks for a very helpful module!!

Why?

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Why?

There are days when the cry of my heart is 

why?

The why of life ..

it just is.

Today again I asked the question 

while out walking

with our crazy, nearly new, sweet 

Rosie dog.

she zigged and zagged and tripped me up

her nose was here and there and everywhere

her fear of all things new

her dog antenna on high alert

while walking I happened upon a moment

a moment in time that begs the question 

why?

 from quite the oppostie side of life

came a homeless man.

he stopped by a tree 

our meeting was not amicable

it was full of lust and sex

why?

I found the feminist in me rising up and out

Why is it that men think women want to experience their nether regions?

what is it that makes a man think he can just expose that of himself to 

just any woman

to me?

why would , just any woman want to see that part of you?

Why?

Why do women have to carry such heavy loads?

Xenophobia - real lives , real people

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Today I spoke to X. He works at our one of our local shopping centres. he is a teacher by profession but in South Africa, he is a car guard. He has left his country of Burundi and come to "find a better life" in our country. He asked me to pray for the xenophobia. We chatted and my empty words hung in the air as he told me some of his story. 

Meet X - the man who works in our garden. He is a young Malawian. Malawi is the poorest country in Africa. He has come, with his wife to find a better life. He has a child at home in Malawi and his wife has just given birth to a baby boy. I asked him how he was. He replied that he is scared. 

Honestly , I am afraid for him too. The queues of people leaving SA back to Zimbabwe and Mozambique are further pictures of people who are afraid. 

In the news today. 7 people dead in the current wave of violence against foreigners in our country.

Our shame!!

# say not to xenophobia

# we are one

The power of our words and the death of 5 foreigners, our shame.

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Yesterday, once again, I feel the shame of being a South African.

I heard the news throughout the day in which we were privy to the encouraging words from our president, Jacob Zuma, who in a speech this past weekend, strongly asked for young South African graduates, to not leave SA but rather to remain here and to " give back". While I think this is a great encouragement, his very encouragement involved the word patriotism. He spoke very clearly about us being patriotic and therefore, making life decisions that will include building our country. 

On the surface of things I think that these sorts of encouragements are not far of the mark.

However, the irony was stark because on the very same day that we, the public were given insight into our presidents ideas on patriotism, Kwazulu Natal erupted into violent attack and chaos. This very unpatriotic, shameful behaviour that does not build but destroys.

I grew up in Johnnesburg in Gauteng and my grandparents lived for the last part of their lives, in Durban. We spent many holidays sharing Durban beachfront and all the fun Durbanish activities. My memories of those holidays are really beautiful.

I, therefore , have a very clear picture of the city, the streets, the area around Point Rd where people decided to brutalise one another yesterday.

My heart aches today.

5 people have died since King Goodwell Zwelithini gave us his speech where he strongly encouraged all foreigners in Durban to return to their countries. He has since backtracked and said he was quoted out of context. Be that as it may, his words have struck a match underneath the waiting box of anger, resentment and hatred towards foreigners in our country. 

Who are these foreigners?

These are Zimbabweans, Malawians, Nigerians, Somalians and the like. People from Africa.

Need I say, fellow Africans.

During Apartheid, when our leaders of the ANC and the other liberation organisations looked outside of our borders for help, exile, assistance, we did not have very far to look. African countries were more than willing to lend a hand. 

The irony of this is that at a time in our modern day history, when statues are being destroyed and vandalised, we really are reminded that history and the telling of it matters. I say this because it would seem to me that many young black South Africans have either forgotten our past helpers or simply do not know. I guess a third option is that they might not care. 

And so the fire of xenophobic violence has once again been ignited in our beloved country. It is burning like the fires that destroyed the Cape Mountains a few weeks ago. Hatred is alive and well in the hearts of fellow man and 5 people are dead because of it.  

I am reminded of the verses in the bible .

 And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.

These true words from the bible remind us that all people are precious to God because he made them. Precious people, made to carry his very likeness, his image. We are to be living breathing God representatives on earth. 

I pray that in our shame God might forgive us. That we would turn to him and find forgiveness and find purpose in this life as individual South Africans and as a nation. I pray for revival and for people, men and omen to speak a word of reason in all this chaos.  Father will you restore calm and peace but more than that bring real peace between  all South Africans. Help us who are called by your name, to be the salt and light ; the peacemakers .
At Escom today, where SA workers are striking because they want foreigners to be fired..... in the city streets of beautiful Durban... across our land. Father will you move by your spirit and through your true word. Help reason and truth to rule our hearts and replace anger, bitterness , vengeance and hatred with your forgiving love for one another.

Rhodes- the statue that divided a nation?

History. 

A romantic word.

And yet these past weeks in South Africa, we have experienced a plethora of emotions and actions that have been devoid of any romantic notions .

History!

 Who does it belong to?

I suspect it belongs to us all.

In the South African context we all have a part in our history. A link to someone or someplace that forms a part of who we are; of our life experience; our heritage. 

Depending on our world view, we will hold the narrative of our countries history either tightly or rather loosely.

History is one of those realities that afford us a precious window to look back and to learn. There is much to learn from our humanity or lack thereof. History , surely helps us and points us in a direction that is better than the past ?

In an ideal world perhaps.

Man is broken and sinful and stubborn. We seem not to want to learn and grow.

I found myself in a crisis of sorts this week. I have listened and read the debates on both sides all through the past few weeks. What should we do with the statues of the past men who represent our sad and broken history? My thoughts have jumped around and I have not been able to really settle on a good solution for myself. 

 Standing in our local Woolies two women struck up a loud conversation about The Rhodes Statue being removed from UCT. I could not but hear what they had to say. I found myself asking " what is it that I really think?"

On the one hand I hear that some of these statues are reminders of our painful past and represent if not celebrate the pain inflicted by Apartheid. They are an offense. I really do hear this. 

But, on the other hand I do not like destruction and chaos and so reject the way that some are attacking statues around our country.

I often think about history in its time. Does that make sense. We will be judged with the moral lens of the future and it is like that with history. We judge the people of the past with the moral lens and place that we in the future have. 

But they lived in their time.

That of course does not justify racism or the many atrocities that history has shared with us.

It simply helps me remember that they lived in a different time. 

I wonder if people feel that they have no voice in the new SA. Are these destructive actions a way of people  really being heard? I wonder if our sad and sorry attempts to created a non racial society have failed and this is an expression of that. Of course individuals have managed to bridge gaps and divides in extraordinary and beautiful ways, but as a nation are we still divided and is racism still alive and well?

Last night over dinner with friends, we touched on this topic. I thought that given our ability to come up with good, inventive, creative solutions to problems. it seems a tragedy that we, as a nation, can not come up with something good that can be done with something painful. 

This is an opportunity to build and unify rather than break down and further divide and already divided nation.

Collective ideas bring creative solutions to problems all the time. 

Sadly, I fear, we will opt for less of a dialogue and unifying approach and adopt more of the destruction and shouting approach. Through all the noise we can not hear one another.

The voices of a few clutter the thoughts and actions of the many.

I pray that these divisive actions of the few really lead to good dialogue for the many and more than that, that we, the people of SA. restrain ourselves and fight the urge to let this all slide into racism and rhetoric.

A very sad time in our new democracy.

Lord have mercy!!

LADD - Living the adventure with co-occuring Conditions- Parenting modue 3

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One of my favourite things to do, in all the world, is to spend time cooking a delicious meal for friends. This enjoying time , set aside, offords me some thinking time. Thinking helps me to refuel my body with some energy and that energy led me to write this third blog post on ADHD.

I am presently enjoying an online parenting course .

http://www.livingaddventure.com/

Check it out for more information.

I hope to be doing the course some justice in writting these posts.

I am adding to the puzzle that is ADHD both for myself and for the other parents who I come in contact with. If you have been reading these posts, you will already know that I am a mother of four children- four sons to be exact. Doug is my husband and together we parent and love them . Of the four children, two are ADHD. The second one and the last one. One is 13 years old and se a teenager and the other is 9 and in grade 3. All of our children attend govenment schools in Cape Town, South Africa.

My husband is ADHD but was only diagnosed as an adult.

I have a teaching background and tutor children from home as well as run an art studio for children and beginner adults. Like many mothers today, I am a very busy mom. Adhd has added that dimention to our lives that brings with it the bright and beautiful and the grey and grumpy.

I have decided, from the very beginning, to upskill myself in all things ADHD. I guess I was motivated by my husbands bad and very sad childhood experiences of being an undiagnosed ADHD child who was and is supper bright but was just left to drown.

I always described him as a flower that had not yet flowered.

The joy of understanding ADHD is the joy that it gives to the ADHD person being able to understand his or her brain and therefore behaviour. Their is room for growth and change..... but I am going off topic.:)

This module is all about the co-occuring conditions that seem to belong with ADHD. These are the conditions that are found alongside ADHD but are not actually the ADHD. All ADHD people will have one or more of these.

Dave Pugh-Parry outlines these clearly.

The disruptive behaviour disorders

ADHD, oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) and conduct disorder (CD)

there are a lot of overlapping behaviours of these three disorders but Dave helpfully outlines how we can notice the differences between the 3.

Mood disorders

These include ; bi-polar, unipolar disorder.

ADHD and bi-polar are different disorders and few ADHD people are bi-polar.
ADHD children CAN suffer from depression and adults with ADHD have a greater chance of struggling depression- up to 47%.

ADHD brings with it emotions that can range from frustration, irritability, bad moods , crying and anger.  These facts are based on research . Those of us who live with ADHD people know the truth that is expressed in this description of mood.

Anxiety disorders

30% of ADHD children struggle with anxiety and this increases with adults however I agree with Dave that doctors concurre that most ADHD people experience anxiety , not as a disorder, but rather as the constant worrying. I do so wish that our teachers really grasped this with the ADHD children that they deal with:(

Tics and Tourettes

Dave deals with these- ADHD children can have a tic of sorsts like throat clearing and blinking.

Learning Disorders

50% of ADHD children have learning disorders.

The learning disorder is not neccesarily treated with medication but needs the help that professionals can give. I have a very dear friend who has an ADHD son. He has auditory processing struggles. I really salute this friend as a mother who has supported and encouraged her son with the right kinds of help. This comes at great cost , both financial and time and energy but her love and encouragement of him has been trully worthy of salute!!!

In my tutoring I come across many ADHD children who struggle with reading or reading too quickly. I agree with Dave RE his view of reading and ADHD and he really has helped me understand and hopefully help some of these children.

Information and understanding really does open up a world to struggling children.

Thank you again for a helpful module.

all things unsaid

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all things unsaid

you 

sit, face full on in a quizzical stare

a look that silently gives voice to a hundred words

never said

the silence hangs thick between us

full of brokenness and lack

the shared life that never was

and.... now

life's end beckons you and it is

too late