The Unbearable Burden of 'being perfect'!

I write this blog from my heart knowing that it is not perfect in its use of language or in its content. I write this blog post with a very heavy heart for myself and a deep longing to stop living life the way it is for me right now. I do not want to carry the load of being Perfect anymore and I do not want to pass that load onto my children or demand it any longer from my husband and from those around me. I know that this desire and the working out of it in my life will in itself be a messy work. I recognize that for some in my family , the need to be perfect comes from within and is fed from without. Everything shouts - YOU NEED TO BE PERFECT. - buy this ; get that ; change this; swap that ; paint here ; tweak there ; diet , run , sleep, have sex, have more leisure time, time alone..... etc, etc, ( please dont mis hear me. Lots of these things are right and good in their place).

Here goes....

This morning at the children's nursery school , a little boy I know quite well, had a T-shirt on that said'" I am perfect like my dad". Now in of itself this just a little boys shirt and we all get what it is saying but it kind of summed up for me some of the things I have been thinking around the idea of Perfectionism and "being Perfect".

One of the big messages today is this one.... It is an important life goal to gain perfection in all areas of life. No we may not have bought whole heartedly into this idea but there are glimpses of it in our lives if we really look and lift up those little corners. We are encouraged to start with our selves. The perfect body ; no fat, no flab, no stretchmarks, not to much sun just the right amount of exercise and healthy eating on all levels. Go Organic if you can and vitamins, doctors check-ups and the list goes on and on..... No dont get me wrong here, being healthy is good and right. I am using these examples to illustrate the bigger idea. The pursuit of the Perfect Body which then leads you to the perfect partner. Following on from this the Perfect Home, Car, Dog, job , bank, bank balance, and the list is endless. Depending on age and stage we could all find ourselves along the continuum of the line of perfection. Which leads to the perfect child and the perfect friend for the child which then leads to the perfect schooling system and the Perfect school and etc... etc.

I am a christian woman and so I find the idea of perfection in christian thinking on life ; in christian books on marriage, parenting, schooling, discipline and the like. The pursuit of the Perfect Life surrounds us.

There are many who help us on the way to being perfect. Gyms litter the landscape; health food shops ; educational toy shops; sport coaching ; life coaching ; self - help book shop shelves ; magazines and if all else fails there is always my friend 'google'the like. So help in gaining the perfect this or that is close at hand. Much of this stuff is written and put forward by well meaning people. Being Perfect is big business.

( Once again, please dont misread me. If you read me at all :)I think some of these things have great value and are good to do ; read and enjoy.
'
The pursuit of' being perfect' is a burden for humanity. All around I interact with people who are exhausted on every level. We say things like ," it is the time of year" or " I Just need more sleep" -( which may be true), but I wonder if more and more if the pursuit of the Perfect is not what is exhausting us. It is so tiring fighting for something which is not attainable.
Here is the crux of the thing about searching or working for The Perfect is that when we can not find it ; hold it; keep it; have it or when the perfect partner turns out to be not so perfect and the perfect baby screams all day ; the perfect profession pays so very little or the perfect house begins to date what do we do then?

I suspect the desire for The Perfect Life is modern, Western Man 's desire to know God. God is Perfect and all he does is perfect.
He has a perfect plan for mankind.
It is this.......He purchased for himself ; us weak, weary, rebellious and broken people.
He did this by giving himself to die on a tree for our sin against him.
It seems so far fetched and so unreal and frankly so yesterday.
But the reality is that God used that which is foolishness to us - he chose the foolish things of this world to shame the wise and the weak things of this world to shame the strong.
What seems to be weak and simple is actually the God of the Universe's Perfect Plan for weak and sinful man.
Here is the beautiful thing We can know this perfect God.
Ill say that again. We can actually know God.
To Know God is to accept God's perfect way in sending his son Jesus to die on the cross for our rebellion against him ( God that is) and in return we receive from God many things; but for the purpose of writing about The Perfect Life, I want to focus on one thing we receive.

We are set free!! We are free to live our lives for God. We are free to live our lives loving others. We are able to be not so perfect ; and live in a not so perfect world with not so perfect children, friends, relatives and spouses. We ourselves can be not so perfect because we are free. Yes, we must work hard at life in all its areas. But the thing is , when we mess up and when our kids mess up and when our friends mess up and ....and ... and... we are free to keep loving , forgiving and helping each other. We are free to never give up.

If you like I feel burdened by the false desire to Be Perfect , be encouraged to seek the One who is Perfect himself and who is able to set you free to live.