My parents divorced when I was in my early 20's but of course that was the end. The beginning began many years before that and all of this had a profound impact on my life.
I was listening to Focus on the Family this morning and once again they had a very helpful discussion and around step parents. As I listened I became aware again of the deep impact that divorce has on children. Yes the parents are torn apart and that in itself is riddled with strife and pain but sometimes in this process the very real need and loss for the children gets ignored.
I found myself weeping and then wondering where the heck did that come from? Those who know me and love me know that I am a deeply feeling person. Yes I am one of those who feel things very deeply and I have been raked over the coals for being this way. "You just respond to everything emotionally" someone once said to me and there may be some truth in that but one thing about me is that I will always think things through , eventually. :) I am able to have very real compassion for others in need. Not all bad hey?
Children in divorce matter. They feel the ripping of their parents relathionship too. The effects of the breaking is perhaps life long. I have a great friend who comes from a family who ended in divorce. We often talk about the effects on us today and how we see things in our own marriages through the glasses of broken parental relationships. We are able to encourage one another to think right and act right because our marriages different. We are different. :)
Thank you Lord on all accounts.
The untold, unresolved and very deep sense of loss that children experience and carry through life is real. it exists. I say this because I think society has begun to view divorce as just another option. It is a choice after all you deserve to be happy. The children from these families seem to be glanced over now days in the one of many choices adults make. In the turmoil and chaos of deciding who gets what and where to live and who gets the kids and when, their feelings and their experiences can get left out.
This is a plea. Look again and please take note. The little person at your side is in pain too. I know that had my parents been able and had the tools to acknowledge my pain, It would have helped me realise that they actually saw my pain too. That they cared!!
Our church and many others run a helpful course called Divorce care and Divorce care for kids.
Check out the web site for more information
Do your kids a favour.
www.dc4k.org
Good post Caren. Here's praying DC4K helps many kids
ReplyDeleteI hope it does too. My real and parallel hope is that parents get some good help for their marriage when they can so that perhaps they and their kids dont need divorce care. :) But for some this option is not their so I am so glad that DC4K is there to help.
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