I have embarked on this epic work of trying to record my story of the unraveling of aspects of my faith journey and it is a really huge work to tackle. A story as many threads and many parts to it. These pieces all slot together in what some call synchronicity and others providence. The story of the unraveling did not begin in Covid or lockdown or with George Floyd's murder or even the reigniting of the conversation of racism in our own country and city . It had, for me begun at the very beginning of my faith journey in these particular theological waters, I just did not know it yet.
The way we approach and understand the bible as Christ followers, is all about theology. Theology is the way we understand and the study of God and beliefs as found in the bible or " the word of God". Theology is not restricted to Christianity, but for the purposes of this story, I am using it in the realm of Christianity.
The particular Christian place and space a person belongs to, will be informed by theology and the practice and understanding of how and why Christians use the bible to inform life is all part of particular way of understanding and reading the bible. I can not tackle this topic in any depth nor do I want to except to tell my story.
The way we read and understand the bible; the parts we leave out and emphasize will be influenced or rather undergirded by theology. The church space that my faith as a follow f Christ was formed and molded in, was of a theological practice that holds that the way the bible is read, interpreted and understand in life IS the only way that the bible is to be read and understood and practiced. There is no other way. I believed this too.
As I write this next sentence, I know that those who read this AND who continue in this way of thinking about the bible, will judge me to be " no longer in Christ" and the like. Just pause for a moment and re read this sentence. Yho. It holds a lot.
I assure you that whatever you may think, I continue to be safe in the arms of Jesus.
However, I no longer hold to this way of thinking about the bible. My theology has shifted. And that is ok.
When one comes to a certain and certain way of looking at the bible, for those who do not know, what happens is that a list of popularly held or authorized teachers of the same kind of theology are encouraged. Depending on the narrowness of the particular theology, there will be some on the edge of this "list" that are a little "dodgy". What is not shared is that there is a whole world of people, writers, preachers and the like, who love Jesus and who hold really different ways of understanding the bible.
This realization was solidified in Covid. The time we had in lockdown, meant for me, a shrinking of my art classes and an opening up of a space where for the entire year I spent time exploring and reading different people. The space created and directed by Isiphambano and their years course Jesus and Justice , was indeed that space. It was marvelous, rich, challenging and life changing. The many, many questions I had on Justice and Jesus and many more were opened and discussed with other Christ followers who were also asking these questions. This course changed everything. I met Rene Padilla and Ecuadorian theologian ; The Black Theology of James Coen ; The revolutionary idea that the bible had anything to say about poverty, history and how we are to engage as citizens NOW was profound and beautifully liberating. We looked everything from many angles and read many different ideas on , as an example Missiology 9 The study of religious missions, methods and purpose) . Can you see how vast this course was and how earth shatteringly wonderful.
I remember feeling deeply let down. What we believe is so central to our being. It shapes everything. I came to the realisation , that the theological world of my faith formation was not the whole story. That was huge.
The bottom of my world had been pulled out.
Who or what would hold?
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