in all things.....

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December has come and nearly gone. As we say goodbye to another year, the year 2013 and we welcome in the new year , I am mindful of the pain, sadness,grief and loss that surrounds us. it is a very strange thing, but the ending of a year seems to bring with it tragedy and loss. There are so many whom we know personally who have lost loved ones during this time. All are Christians. All love Jesus and are loved by him. 

For all of them , their strong faith in Jesus is the very real strength they have to face their trial and pain. 

To those on the outside it might seem as if God has abandoned his people. Where is he in the mess of life. When a dearly loved one dies- where is God?

When a tumour is diagnosed- where is God?

When the unthinkable happens - where is God?

When we face those things in life that tear us apart and rip our lives to shreds - Where is God?

When those who should love and support us let us down so desperately-where, oh where is God?

The truth is that God is not shy of getting his hands dirty. He is at work in the very pain and heartache of real peoples , real lives.  he holds them, strengthens them, loves them and guides them. He provides and his grace is like a river flowing from heaven into the lives of those who trust him. Does this mean that pain and suffering just go away. Not at all. It means that Jesus makes sense of all this pain and suffering, I have 3 dear friends who have enormous trials that they are facing right now. Each of them testifies to Gods love and goodness, his grace and providence. They shine out his love and hope and are an enormous encouragement for those who walk beside them - despite their deep pain and real struggles and despite the forever loss one carries in these kinds of situations.

Romans 8:28 is one of my favourite reminders. God is at work in all things - the good and the awful things. He is at work in all our situations . He is at work for our good according to his purpose, 

So, I pray this prayer for these friends and many others who are battered by life.... 

Keep trusting Jesus.

My comment and reflections - The Passing of a giant - Mandela

 Mandela is gone. He has left this world to pass on to another. He has left behind his very clear and thoughtful footprint on South Africa, Africa and indeed the world.  He lived life conscious and with purpose. He was not perfect for he was just a man but he accomplished much for many. A life lived in service of his ideals and therefore in service of a nation.  

He has left a hole in the hearts of many.

As a nation we said our goodbyes and farewells. We had countless opportunities to grieve and share in a varieties of ways. People chose what they could and waited suited them. For us, as a family we chose to watch the memorial on TV and to lay some flowers at The Cape Town City Hall. Both of these were a moment for me personally to reflect back on the country we were.

 The radio has always been my friend and I have listened to many, many discussions and debates ; first hand accounts and stories from friends, comrades and family and from fellow South Africans, pilgrims through this land- South Africa. This is my country. it is a country that I love with deep passion despite the pain of the past and the tragedy of those days that have scared us all as South Africans. Apartheid broke, divided, ripped at peoples lives ; it ruled and governed our lives and has left its own footprint on the lives of those who grew up under it and who lived with it. We are a broken  nation and in need of collective therapy. This idea is not one narrowly held just for us. many countries around the world need collective therapy to heal the pain of the past.

 In one way, I feel that talk radio is part of that therapy. People have the opportunity to say what needs to be said. The passing of Madiba is another such opportunity. We as a nation, publicly get to share our guilt, pain, sorrow  and our own experiences of the 1970's ; 1980's and up to the present.

 In the context of us all having a say about what we think - which is a freedom I choose to uphold - freedom of speech. I choose to share a sadness I have observed especially on social media. While there are things about our current president that I do not agree with or even like. He , in my opinion is not doing the servant leader work of a person given his position and in fact encouraged to by the example of Madiba. However, I felt that 'booing' him at the memorial service was out of line:)

 Similarly, the rude and disrespectful comments  people have shared on social media around him as a person and indeed the memorial prompted me to write this post. The memorial service was long and there were many speeches. It was not exceptional nor was it spectacular. But, to be honest, I did not expect it to be. As I reflect on the day, I think it was very much in line with the funerals and meetings of the ANC days gone by. Doug was involved in his 20,s with the forming of an ANC branch and was on the JHB sub-region. We experienced a great deal ANC meetings and discussions. The funeral was no surprise, in fact I enjoyed listening the the speeches and seeing those who had arrived from other countries.

 I enjoyed seeing who was invited to speak and I loved hearing the old freedom songs once again. The crown had a ball.

Finally I write about Madiba lying in state and The Union Buildings. I was deeply moved by the snaking ques of people who travelled from great distances away to come and bid farewell. It was right and fitting. I want to salute our government and the local governments who have created space for we the people of South Africa to mourn and share in Madiba's passing. It has been cathartic, reflective and opportunities for teaching the next generation about the past. Nelson Mandela was a giant. He has touched us. May we continue to strive towards thoughtful unity and real peace as we live in the beautiful land. South Africa. Hamba Kahle Madiab.

Madiba

This week has been one of the saddest weeks for us as a country.

It is and will be a week we all remember. 

For, who can forget the very place we were when we heard the news.

We have come, at last, to that place.

 The place we all anticipated and thought about. 

 The death of Nelson Rolihlahla Mandela. Madiba. 

Tata.

The passing away of Madiba was no surprise but like every death it, was a shock. 

I was on my way to school to collect reports. it was very early. I turned on the radio and wham!!

There it was. 

The sad and real news

Madiba was dead.

 Over these passed few days I have been listening to the radio and all the many different angles that each programme has taken. It has been cathartic and good to reflect back. I am reminded again from where we have come as a nation. Those dark and painful, evil days where Apartheid ruled. The many, many who have spoken of those days have somehow transported us back to those days.   I think it is good to go back there and reflect. To think about what we were and what we are becoming 

To think about how far we have come and how much we have accomplished.

Of course Madiba was not the only 'hero' of the time. There were many other strong men and women who stood shoulder to shoulder with him. They shared life together. They planned and executed their plans -together. But somehow , Madiba, emerged as the man who could and would encompass all of our hopes and dreams as one , united nation. 

The rainbow nation as we were called in the 1990's.

I like that. It has a good and whole feel to it. 

Those who have spoken about the man. Nelson Mandela, have all shared something of his wonderful character. His humility, his sense of humor, his  kindness and of course his offer of forgiveness towards those who worked for his end and his ill. I agree with one commentator who suggested that he did not really set SA free but rather showed us what we could be , so that we set ourselves free. That sounds pretty much like the Madiba we all knew and loved. The man who never claimed any glory for himself. A man who chose to step down as president  after his first term in office. He was an example of a life well lived.

I know he was not perfect. He was just a man after all. 

There is however something about the way he approached life that is compelling.  He lived his life true to his conscience and convictions and that is something rare and special.

Not only did he do that but he touched other peoples lives in a unique and wonderful way. Even those who did not agree with his politics, were transformed by a meeting with him.

He was a tall man.

I remember 'bumping' into him one night shortly after his release. He was calmly walking through a local JHB shopping center.  We just could not believe out=r eyes. We greeted him and moved on. I remember thinking how tall  he was and how kind his eyes were. 

 I have been pondering what to do to mark this time. We have had some great conversations with our boys about times gone past. It is so very difficult for them to truly understand who he is and what he helped us become.  But I think we can try and help them to see just a glimmer.

So this blog post is a small little tribute to a tiny aspect of his life. I have written about him before and my life and reflections as a young South African growing up in the 1970 and 1980's.

There are many books assailable about Nelson Mandela but one of the best is his Long Walk to Freedom. We have many different copies of it in our home including the abridged version which I recommend for children who are good readers.

Today we say farewell as a country with a memorial service. over 100 heads of states have landed on African soil to bid their farewells.  We share a great man with the world. 

On Saturday the ANC say goodbye to their leader and friend, their comrade. I would love to be present and experience that moment. Singing with his fellow comrades - Hamba Kahle!

Then, he has his family funeral full of all the traditions that adorn his family and culture. He will be laid to rest in Qunu, the very place that brought him forth. From humble beginnings he returns to those very same humble beginnings.

So, along side many fellow South Africans we will be doing some of the things planned for us as a country. We will say our goodbye s too. We are going to share the morning and memorial with a good friend and fellow South African - another who feels very deeply or the issues in our land. 

 And yet... my heart feels so heavy and sad for the loss of this great man. I pray that we will be re-encouraged to unite and work together for our nation. I pray that as we reflect, tomorrow and into the years ahead, the legacy that he leaves behind will live on though the generations who follow.

Thank you Lord Jesus for giving South Africa such a man as this. May his legacy live on in us.May you raise up many others like him who can serve and lead with integrity.

 Farrell 

 Hamba Kahle Tata -- a real servant leader.

 These are some of the artworks we completed in the July Holidays. So very timely!!

Taking a stand!!

We are a Christian family. We love Jesus. Doug and I are unashamed of the gospel. The outworking of this for us as a family means we are raising kids who do not fit in. They are not being conformed to the pattern of this world. It means that they are what kids call :nerds".  They are different to other kids. They think differently. 

We are conservative parents. We parent with God in mind. He hems us in . We are surrounded by him. The end result of this is that our children are not the same as others.  They are not allowed to do the same things as other children their age are. Yes, learning to be independent with responsibility is the aim but always age appropriately. 

We stand alone! 

Yes, of course there are few who journey our way and we are grateful for fellow travelers.  The result  of the decisions we make for our kids, will be in the future. It is the unknown and all we really have to go on is to look at those who have gone before and raised children to healthy, whole young adult, who love Jesus.  I guess it is the same for all parents. We reap what we sow, but only in the future!

While I really do hold to the idea that each family needs to work this out for themselves, I do somehow think that there are Christians who are afraid. We are afraid our children will be left out; seen as uncool and ostracized. We want them to have one foot in the world and one in God,s kingdom. We want them to experience comfort and be happy. I have to fight against this. The truth is being a christian is counter cultural. We do not fit in. we do not belong. This is not our home. So we raise our kids with their eyes fixed on heaven and Jesus.

The reality is that they are often  left out. They do not really belong in the crowd. They are not coo to the most l.  At times, this is hard to experience with them.  BUT the truth is this pain is ok. Standing firm for Jesus is worth more than anything this world can offer even if it means standing alone!!
In the South African context we will always find one other who stands with us. 

So, we pray for godly Christian friends who count Jesus as all and being seen as coo by the majorityl as, well, nothing.

Are you a "good enough" mom?

http://static.someecards.com/someecards/usercards/1346200237431_7081787.png'good enough' 

In our more vulnerable and honest moments with each other, the truth is revealed. If we are a mother, we feel like we are failing in our 'job'. 

I have these kinds of conversations with myself and with other honest women a great deal. There is enormous pressure on the modern mother.Pressure to be the all singing and dancing mother.... to always get it right.... to know our child deeply and to understand his or her every need.... to get it right all of the time... to be a perfect mother. And why ever not. After all we live in the age of information and real knowledge around human behavior and emotions. We understand the way people tick and really there is no reason not to get it 100% right , all of the time. We are hard on ourselves and hold ourselves to an incredibly high standard.

Striving for the perfect in myself causes me to expect the perfect in others and in this case my children. The perfect picture child is bound up without any space to just be a child. Children make mistakes. They get things wrong. They mess up. These mistakes and messes are all part of learning. it is surely in  and through our mistakes that we learn a great deal.
I think if we relax a little we will allow ourselves to enjoy our children more and allow them to enjoy their childhood a great deal.

In reality we are not perfect parents. We will never be perfect and I think that, that is totally OK. Being a good mom is good enough. Every time I release myself from the pressure and burden  of perfection I find a freedom and rediscover the fun of parenting. It is a relentless and at times difficult job. it is often thankless and did I say relentless. :) If we can somehow, be set free from the shackles of trying so darn hard to be something we are not.... well then we find something better.

Being a Christian always helps me with the "striving for perfection" idea or pull within myself and without in our society. God is perfect in every way. I am not!! His work in my life and the grace I find to parent well especially when things are difficult, are the very real things that help me rest in my imperfection and allow me to ask forgiveness for the times I mess up.

I am a work in progress and his Jesus' hands he is transforming me. Being a mother is a work in progress. God is transforming me especially in and through my parenting. In that place where our vulnerability ; dreams and hopes   collide with reality - that place called parenting - well, it is in the middle of all this that I find God at work most. He is fashioning patience and crafting selflessness in ME. He is showing me where my pride is and revealing those hidden idols.  Being a  parent in Gods gracious hands is a revealing work of art. Parenting exposes my sinful , imperfect heart and if I am honest with God , he can get to work.

The journey of motherhood for me has been one of unshackling and discovering exactly what it is that I am as a woman and mother ; in this family under the circumstances we are living in and given all that we have and are. I have read many  a parenting book on "How to get it.... well just perfect".... and frankly they really are of little help in  the midst of real life with sinful children and a sinful mother. Lets add in a dash of ADHD and I very quickly found these sorts of books fairly irrelevant. However, there are helpful , insightful books which can give wisdom and good advice  - perhaps just find the one that fits your personality and your family.:)

So, are you a "good enough" mom ?

It is a great question to ask and to find the answer too. I really want to be just good enough!!!

It is so difficult to explain.

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Today I had a conversation with our eldest son that brought back memories. He was asking me about the play and musical 'Sarafina'. We have not only seen it and loved it back in the day but have the music from it. We began to talk about what school was like in the days of Apartheid. growing up as a white , English speaking girl in Apartheid , divided South Africa meant that our school was full of ONLY white people. 

As we chatted and I shared something of the story of Sarafina, I realised how darn difficult it is to explain, really explain what it was really like growing up in Apartheid South Africa. The sad desperation of our youth and the harrowing , angry days that spread out into our early 20's. South Africa, through the eyes of a 13 year old, today, is somewhat different. Yes, not perfect and perhaps still full of poverty and hopelessness for many, in some ways but I think we forget how truly horrid those days were. 

They were sad and deeply desperate days.  Days full of chaos, death and killing. I for one am so, so very grateful that our children do not have to grow up in those dark times.

I talked a little of the books that changed my life. Cry the Beloved Country that God used to open my eyes and full the fire of my youth. I am grateful for teachers who stepped out and were counted. The one or two who dared to tell the truth about the country we were living in. 

The truth remains. it is difficult to explain what it was like. I am left with, I think you must ask Karen what it was like going to school in Apartheid. May we somehow be able to explain our sad and broken past to this and future generations. 

Thanks to museums that help keep our rich and also sad heritage alive.

May we never return there. 

God bless South Africa!!

A blessing for a teacher

Each year I like to write a personal little note to our sons teachers.

This year is no different. I was inspired to write something general to ALL who teacher. The reality is that , if you are a parent, you are a teacher too. Regardless of where or how your children are schooled, we are, at some or other level a teacher of sorts. So, I write this note to ALL who teach.

It is especailly though for our teachers at our school and for those beyond its gates who ahve touched the lives of our children this year. 

This is the first of the last for us as a family. Our eldest son is ending off his year at Sweet Valley Primary. He has been there, growing, flourishing, learning for the past 7 years. We have been enormously blessed as a family by his experience at this school. More than that, as I sit to write , I realise that these teachers who have been a big part of James' life over the past 7 years, have been exceptional  in so many ways.

As I write to each person and as I reflect, I realise once again what a profound work of art a teaching job is. It is the opportunity to shift and change a life. It is the work of inspiring a child with something bigger than himself. These teachers have each, in their own way, done for our eldest son, what I could not do alone. For some it is also the opportunity to reflect a rich and real trust in Jesus through their work and we are especially grateful for this too.

These teachers have fanned into life that which is within. As we enjoyed the arts and cultural prize giving last night, I was so encouraged by the children and their learning and growing.

Behind each child stands a teacher.

 Each teacher is a treasure to us.

They are without a doubt, precious to us. 

They have been the other voice that encourages and helps, that teaches and trains, that directs. It has not all been perfect, of course but it has been good. Rich , deep and good!!

So, I end off with a public, blog post, blessing for each teacher at our school and especially those who have touched our lives as a family and inspired all our children to greater things..... but especially as we end off grade 7 -- for our James.

Indeed, not just at our school but for those who taught James as he traveled to Bulgaria and showed him another part of life and all its richness.

Thanks you from the very fullness of our hearts.

May God bless you with health, strength , patience and trust in him. May your life overflow with abundant joy. May God continue to bless you with grace for ALL children and may you each continue to work in his world knowing that what you do counts.  There is a very big picture at work as you labour with one child.

Thank you!!

Do I have a relathionship with my mobile phone?

This post is about my observations  and  thoughts around mobile phones and other technology.
My husband is a computer programmer and so it goes without saying , that computers rock in our home. Being married to a computer man is something of an oxymoron for me. I was one of those lentils and beans 60's type women. I totally did not 'believe' in technology and neither did I think it had much value in our lives.
I held extremely strong views on children and TV for example and computers and children.... well there was nothing that a good board game could not teach. In some ways, the TV and computer ideas are ideas I still hold quite strongly but not so firmly. They are strung in the loose reigns of reality, modern parenting ; the 21st C and experience. That is without adding that ADHD children have this 'thing' with screens. :) 

Needless to say I am no longer a technophobe and actually I love my computer and phone.

( We still do not have a TV or microwave but hey, we are connected)

Having said all this I press on to what I actually want to say about cell phone relationships.

I am not the first to write on this topic and nor will I be the last. My thoughts do not flow from massive research but just from stepping back, stopping and observing others and myself. They also come from the thinking we are doing around our 13 year and his phone. 

This weekend I had the pleasure of going away with some darling women. it was such a special blessing to me for many reasons. 

One of these was that I was alone.

For those of you with children, you will understand exactly what I mean but for those of you who have more than 2 children, you will feel what I mean. 

My raw and frayed nerves were refreshed , just by being alone. In fact, one of the women asked me if I wanted company on my journey. I was actually ok being alone.

Being alone with myself gave me time to think, sing and pray.

I digress!!

One of the other blessings was spending real time with a great bunch of women. 

The long chats and deep care we shared was truly something special and unique.
It is important for me to connect ,in the flesh with people.
I suspect it is esential to us as people to conect in the flesh with people. We are after all relathional beings.

That night, as my friend and I lay chatting I stumbled across something. As we talked and shared, she regularly began a conversation with someone else. Someone who was not in the room. We were sharing our intimate  with each other with regular interuptions from another conversation taking place on her phone.
Now , having done some good thinking back, I have done this very thing.
The interesting thing was that it began to annoy me.
I felt as if she really was only half listening to me.
It was not only annoying but it was a little hurtful.

 There really is something about giving good attention to someone while listening.

Since then I have stopped and observed others and my own behaviour. 

The truth is that our phones are an extension of our bodies ; our minds; our relationships depend upon us texting - not calling- but texting and our everyday relationships are littered with interruptions from either us or from someone else demanding our attention. Please do not get me wrong. I love that I can send a message to a friend or to my husband during the day. It is great to be able to quickly and immediately make relational contact.  A great deal of my planning and organising of life is done via technology.

It works ! It is another way of connecting. A valid way of connecting. The modern way.

But a part of me is challenged and saddened that the 'other' relationship - the sms or whatsup demands our fickle attention and so the one we are face to face with, suffers. I am ashamed of my own behaviour and lack of careful attention to my husband, children and friends who I have partially ignored because I was busy texting.
I wonder how much these interuptions are building barriers to deep relathionships. How much are we struggling to really listen to another person... really listen. Real listening and understanding requires paying attention, eye contact and the like.
I might be making too much of this but I urge you to 'watch' yourself and your attitude towards your own phone and time spent on it.

I know that I call people far less than I used to. I text them now.  Par to of this, for me, is time and cost but it is interesting how we have shifted in our relating to people.


What can be done?

So, I for one am trying to be more intentional about the present relationship. I also say things like..... Just hold on a moment with that thought while I finish this text because I really want to listen to you.
I am trying to call people a little more.
I really do not want my phone to rule my relathionships. I need to rule it!

 

The First of the last!

On Friday evening we celebrated our Sweet Valley School Grade 7 farewell. It began with a group of some of James' friends and our friends who came around to our home for a pre-dinner chat and drink.

It was a smart occasion for these young men!!

 A walk down memory lane!! this is a group of grade 3 children when the present grade 7's were in grade 3!!

 Look  at this darling picture. !!!

 Grade 5 oral. Making biltong. Feels like it was yesterday!!

 A life time friend and may God continue to grow these two darling lads into men after his own heart!!!

I love that each has a hint of their personality in the choice of clothing.

The theme was ... The Carnival!!

What a spledid spread from the decore to the food. 

It was all a delight.

The grade 7 children introduced each other in groups. Each child was introduced and non was left out. I love this part very much. 

There was a section where the kids could perform song items, musical items, dance and there was even a flame twister. 

It was all very special indeed.

As I reflect personally on this phase of our son, James' journey through childhood, I find myself faced with a real mixture of thoughts and emotions.

On the one front, he is more than ready to leave primary school and head on to things more teen suitable on the physical, emotional and intelectual front. And so we celebrate with him this passing of time. This right of passage so to speak.

It is a time of year full of hope and promise and exctitment. 

And yet, at the very same time, there is a whole lot of sadness and I guess healthy loss.

We have spent the past 7 years at a great school where very rich experiences have been built inot our son. He has had the privaledge of enjoying excellent and extrodinary teachers who have helped to shape and grow James in the young man we have befor us. There have been opportunities to travel, explore gifts and talents, build lovely friendships and  enjoy responsibililty on many levels. 

And so we celebrate grade 7 with joy , hope and sadness.

May God continue to bless and grow this young man into the future as he journeys on to another school.

We are mindful of the speed at which these years at school fly by and so I renew my decision to enjoy them with our 3 sons who remain!!

 

Understanding ADHD at our school - a first.

http://www.aceclinics.com/images/adhd-brain.jpg

This week we had the great opportunity to come together at our local primary school and listen to a specialist in ADHD. I was part of a team of people who put the talk together . it was a special evening on many levels. The topic drew a large group of parents , teachers and other professionals. It was indeed a very good evening. Our guest speaker spoke from a scientific , research base and from her own personal experience of helping treat children on the spectrum of ADHD. 

Her talk was informative and helpful. it focused on what ADHD is. She shared information on the importance of being diagnosed properly and with care. 

She gave some of her perspective on our beloved country and ADHD. The experiences we do not share with her. Those of the children from broken and poorer communities.

She reminded us that children get distracted for many reasons.

This notion that ADHD is mainly about distraction is argued against by Dr. Russel Barkley in the link below. Yes, ADHD children are distracted but it is NOT a disorder of distraction. Therefore many children who are distracted are NOT ADHD. ADHD is a disorder of the impulses!

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SCAGc-rkIfo

She talked about medication.

She was clear, concise and we were left in no doubt the ADHD is real.

The thing I loved about her talk was the confidence it gave me as a parent. We went through the same vigorous assessments with our specialist and other professionals who know what ADHD is. We too, have traveled down the path of check lists and double check lists, of long and careful family history; of going where our own ADHD childhood pain lives. 

The take home message for me was one of confidence. 

We have a careful and thorough diagnosis of our 2 children.

They are ADHD.

ADHD is something that is real and is to be taken seriously.

If we have gone down the road of specialist care and help with our child. We, as most parents I speak to , have not just popped of to someone who DOES NOT know what ADHD is and DOES NOT do a real and proper diagnoses. We are not just asking for medication so that our children can sit still. The diagnoses of a child with ADHD is serious stuff. it is taken seriously by parents and specialists in this field.

Please then lets ALL take it seriously.

For parents and family, friends and teachers who work with with our children-

the message is clear

- we have had a specialist diagnose and treat our child

Please take the diagnoses seriously and work with us as we treat, help, support and grow these children into adults who can function well in society.

There is more to treating ADHD than simply popping a pill.

 

Take out that log first!

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This is a post I write to myself. 

It is a true story about something that happened at our local school. You know the kind of thing I mean. The thing that a child does that gets all the tongues a wagging. What to be done about 'said' violation. What is the world coming too. Harsh and final judgements were made. 

Now, do not get me wrong, I know and believe that children and adults should have consequences when wrong is done. 

But in the midst of all these harsh and final words spoken by the parents in our community about the shocking acts of these children, I wondered, sometimes aloud about GRACE. 

Surely I reasoned, that grace is what is need here. These are after all two little children and yes, their act was big but what about the teachable moment. 

What about grace.

We talked a great deal about this in our home. I was harsh at first but as the days went on, I wondered about these children. What made them do it. 

Then, at our weekly prayer meeting at school, we had the pleasure of a new mom. 

We shared a bit and laughed a bit. Her attendance was puzzling as the term is nearly over.

She began to share , on that deeper level, that painful one. 

She is the mother of one of these ' wicked' children. 

Speechless!!

She shared how that some in the community have shunned her and her other child. Some have rejected. All, but one of her child's friends have forsaken her. The pain and stress of this mom was tangible. 

And so, what about grace.

You see, we so easily forget that our darling little children are indeed born sinful. They are equally capable of doing equally wrong things. They indeed do. We just do not see them or experience them. 

Those disobedient acts; unkindness towards others; spitefulness; rudeness; and every act that is thought or done that is against God's law.

But our acts of sin are all just that, sinful. 

The act of sin flows from a heart that is in rebellion against a living and real God. We ALL shake our fists at him and say - no thank you, we want to rule our own lives, thank you. 

This is the very heart of sin.

We somehow forget this when looking from the outside in on other peoples outworking of sin.

We look past the log in our own eye and point out the twig in an others. 

And so we easily judge. We judge the parents by the act of the child. We gather and say unkind and hurtful thing about a parent who we have never even met. 

But now I have. 

I was reminded again that at the end of every act is a child, a real person and with that child is a real family. A mother and father that feels and breaths and lives. 

This mother is feeling and breathing and hurting.

Grace!!

Grace means that with real repentance there is forgiveness. 

Grace means we can offer kindness and real love in the midst of hurt and pain and sin.

It is what we have been called to do, if we call ourselves Christian.

These children have faced earthly consequences as we all do. They will also face God to answer, as we all will too.

All our children are actually in the same predicament. Just not so publicly.

So, we hold out grace and forgiveness, ESPECIALLY if we have tasted grace from our heavenly father and we are forgiven. Can we not find it in our hearts to welcome the sinner. So we love and welcome this family into our bigger school family. We support and encourage and love the children so that they may truly be restored. 

We offer grace to those who have sinned just as we have been offered grace by our loving God because we have sinned.

This is my prayer. 

This is a sad and yet beautiful story. A good reminder to NOT judge what we see but let God be the judge of all.

Take out the log first!!

The door of hope

http://www.joburg.org.za/images/stories/2011/June/door_top.jpg

I love a good story. 

I enjoy listening to what people have to share about their life and the experiences they have.

This has been a week of story listening. 

We each have a story to tell. Our story is unique and belongs to us.

Some of the stories I heard this weekend were uplifting and good. 

Like the ones about the gangsters who are set free by hearing about Jesus and what he has done for them , on the cross.

 Prison ministry is alive and well and brings real hope for people who are right at the bottom of life.

The stories people shared with gratitude of one of our teachers who has written personal, individual letters to each of his team members he coached, was a delight.

The effort and hard work that some parents sweat at to help their child pass. The sms that brought the news that indeed he had and much more than that, he had passed excellently.

Stories of hope.

Stories of love.

But then...there are also those stories, the ones that break a heart.

Living in the South African context there are many of these kinds. The ones that break the heart.

The Door of Hope is one such story. The excellent and loving work that this NGO does in JHB, taking in those abandoned babies. The ones no one wants. 

The interview highlighted for me, the facts of baby abandonment in SA. It is catastrophic and deeply saddening. It is overwhelming!!

Living in SA is often both deeply saddening and overwhelming.

Lord, please give us grace.

 

 

The offer of 'healing' ADHD in Parents name!!

Today I write a post that has both angered and saddened me- deeply!!

I am all for reading interesting ideas and help on ADHD and will look at lots of stuff around this topic. Today I was sent a name of an American woman who offers the most amazing thing for our ADHD children. 

 This is an offer not to be missed or taken lightly!

I am all for seeing the 'blessing' in the ADHD brain. This little picture above is an example of what I mean. Today's visit to this site was, for me, a really painful experience. It was one that actually shocked me and has opend the door to all the 'amazing' offers to us, as parents of ADHD children.

Do not get me wrong. I am a Christian and I know the power of God to be real and active. ONLY he can heal and has the right and authority over illness, disability, struggles and even death. 

I know in whom I trust to have to power to do the healing. 

God does his work as he wills. He heals who he chooses. 

We ask and he acts - in his forever and always love towards his people.

I get very upset when anyone offers healing ---- certain and sure.

So, this woman's offer is quite amazing. She offers me, a mother of ADHD children, the ability  and power to take charge of my child's brain. She offers me the power to heal his ADHD brain. 

This is the most mind blowing offer ever, excuse the pun.

' It is time for parents to take charge and claim the power to heal their children', are the exact words on her home page.

At this point I really , really become very angry.

This is a false offer of hope for parents who are desperate. It is not only a false offer of hope but a cruel one too.

Please hear me. She might very well have a programme that helps with children and their behaviour. But her offer is for healing. 

 Worse still, is the burden it places on any parent who reads her offer and then refuses it. 

I guess this is what the expert in ADHD and brain development and understanding call the junk information on this topic. To be avoided at all costs. 

I would love my child to struggle less in this life. We work extremely hard at trying all sorts of things to help our children at their point of need. But never... not ever, could I or would I hold the claim that I could heal my child. 

That is the work of God and God alone. I , thankfully am not him!! 

So, beware of the offers available. Take them at your own peril!