A day in the life- part 23- Right School, Right Teacher.

Most parents want the best for their child.

Most parents of ADHD children wrestle, at some point, with thoughts around, 

'is this the right school for my child?' and /or

'is this the right teacher?'

I think what lies behind these thoughts are actually a whole lot of other questions and deep worries around ADHD children and learning - flourishing - being available for learning and being helped while learning

I have spoken about these in some of the other posts on ADHD..

There is no perfect school or schooling system. 

.I state the obvious but I think sometimes we need to be reminded of this.

There are better learning environments for children. Some that suit children more than others. Some that work some things better. But no one system offers EVERYTHING and is therefore better than another.

I have friends who have ADHD children who have made a variety of decisions around schooling. These range from homeschooling through to schools that focus and build up children who are ADHD offering small classes and focused help and through traditional schools. Some kids have facilitators for a time. Some are home schooled for a time. There is so much to choose from . So many choices. ALL are valid and All work in different ways. 

What every you might choose for your child and especially your ADHD child needs very careful thought.

I say this because I often hear people slating the SYSTEM as the thing that is not working. While, in part, this might be true for a child, it is not totally true when ADHD concerned.

 

Why do I say this.

it is not the system that has caused the ADHD. The child may swap systems but the child will take himself with himself, along to the new system. 

 

Some ADHD children require support with learning. Occupational Therapy , speech therapy and or remedial work might be offered and used to support the child. Shifting systems might note remove the need for some or all of these helpful interventions. 

ADHD children often struggle with learning to learn.

They need professional, one on one, help.

Some think that if only I can ........ then I wont need medication for my child. This might very well NOT be true either.

 

Choosing the right school for the child is both personal and a big decision. 

Help is at hand no matter what the choice.

Some systems work better for some children.

There is no rule

ADHD children take there ADHD with them , wherever they may go.

some need help by professionals what ever you might choose.

 

The Right School  System is not the right schooling system for all ADHD children and families.

WE are free to choose. Is this not great!!

The Right Teacher.

Some teachers are better at their work than others. Some are more in tune with issues around ADHD than others. Some are willing to learn and others are not. 

I often salute teachers in my posts. I know how dedicated they are and mostly, how hard they work.

We have had 7 years at one school and many teachers along the way. I just love that a whole lot of different people get to share in my children and their learning. The richness that has come from this has been great. They draw out some great things- some hidden things - some things that we are trying out , from quite a different angle. 

Are there times that are not great?

Of course. 

Teachers are not perfect.

Not all teachers are a right fit for all kids and parents.

Not all teachers are nice all the time. 

BUT......

As a Christan I experience God, even in the  choice  of teacher  for my child.

I depend on him. It is totally out mf my control. But he knows, he cares and he is at work.

This does not mean that God gives us the teacher we want or think is right for our children.

We ask and boy do I ask but sometimes the answer has been unexpected and different and sometimes the answer has been NO.

This was our experience this year. I thought I new better and that this one teacher would be simply the very worst thing for my dear little ADHD son. I prayed and begged God. But he had quite a different plan.

And so we got her. 

There is other thing wrong with her actually. 

I just thought she would not suit him and I would not suit her.

The first 3 quarters of this year have been like being on a wild and scary roller coaster with no one in control. I know that is not true but it has been a very difficult settling and learning journey with him and with her.

So, was I right and God wrong. 

Over these last 2 weeks I have learned again the lesson that God is at work in ALL things for my good and for his Glory. It has not been perfect nor has it been easy and fun but it has been an enormous blessing in so many ways for me, for him and for her.

We have all learned and grown. 

I have learned to press on; to tackle difficult issues with teachers and practice being calm and kind when I felt like yelling. 

I have learned to pray more and depend on God more. 

Having a very strict and controlling teacher that did not really suit our son. meant that his issues came out eventually and they are obvious to her, now. She sees what we see  and because she is who she is the obvious ADHD traits have helped us make a diagnoses early- with clarity and certainty. We do  not wanting to make a mistake here.

I have been reminded of my sin and my need of forgiveness.

Our son has learnt so much. Some has been very, very difficult and painful. He has learnt about himself; about others and mostly about Jesus. He can explain, in his own 7 year old way, all about struggles and relying on God. He has experienced us praying for him and for his day and his teacher. 

He has learnt to trust us as we have come around him with help and support. 

Mostly I think she might have learnt. It has not been easy for her having me on the other side. It is never easy for a teacher to have a concerned, afraid and at times angry mother to deal with. 

She has stepped up to the plate.

She is also experience that medication is indeed a real, real real help. I just want to shout this today. Our son is transformed. He is switched on. It is one of the most exciting things to experience.

And she is experiencing it too. 

Surprise and joy is on her face too.

So, the teacher may not be right . He or she will not be perfect.

 But all that is ok.

This world is not perfect.

God is at work in us and for us.

Sometime the not so right teacher is a catalyst for good change!

It is an opportunity for faith in Jesus to grow and strengthen.

Perhaps even to be found for the very first time.